National Eating Disorders Association

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pollyr
trying not to purge

im anorexic and ive never purged but lately I get the urge any time I consume anything at all. im deathly afraid of throwing up and find it really painful so I think if I succumbed it would be bad of course for my ed but also my mental and physical health. any tips?

JessieJake
Hi Polly

I hope you didn't purge. I will be honest that there was a phase in the not so far past where I tried and tried to purge. It seems I just couldn't physically do it. I gave up on it really only for that reason. I feel I'm in a different spot right now so the idea is no longer on my list, thankfully.
Partly this is because I found that I began to believe a message I heard from many eating disorder therapists and dietitians. That is that one day, one meal, one binge will not make a difference. Sure, you might feel yucky or stuffed or bloated, but it won't permanently change your body. It's temporary. Part of the reason I believe this message now is that I've lived through it so many times. One night of overeating and wanting to purge or restrict the entire next day. That's just so hard to do and uncomfortable. I have simply learned through repetition that a few days later I'm back to normal. And maybe, just maybe my body appreciated those extra calories (and really would like some more).
Hopefully something in there might help you!