National Eating Disorders Association

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Kimberp33
Trying to accept my body

Hello,
I have been struggling with my ED for 3 years. The hardest part for me accepting the new shape of my body. After being hospitalized many times for restrictive eating and compulsive exercise I have improved but my negative body image remains. I still fit into my smaller clothes, some a bit snug but I am X pounds heavier due to muscle gain.

I have stopped using the scale as the number controlled the way I thought I should look. I worry about what people think of me at all times. I find myself wearing bigger clothes to hide myself even though I’m at a healthy weight. I fight to stay the way I am not only for myself but also because I would be devastated if someone gave me a negative comment on my body. Living like this can be torture but I am working on accepting my body and the accomplishments I have made.

My highest weight was X pounds and I am currently at X. Instill fear food and weight gain and rely on my exercise for my mental satisfaction as well as overall fitness to stay thin and healthy. Recovery is difficult and there are days I feel defeated but I keep going. I have to stop caring what others think about my body. Does anyone have this issue? Do you have advice on how to get through this? Thank you!

_admin_moderator
Welcome

Hi Kimberp33, welcome to the forums. We’re glad you’re here. We edited your post to remove weight numbers which are not permitted on the forums - please take a look at our community guidelines here:https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelinesWe hope the forums can be a supportive space for you and we encourage you reach out to our confidential NEDA Helpline if you want help finding support options and resources at 800.931.2237 M-Th 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET.  You can also chat with us online M-Th 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-5pm ET. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. Keep going, you are not alone!

_admin_moderator
Welcome!

Hi Kimberp33, welcome to the forums. We’re glad you’re here. We edited your post to remove weight numbers which are not permitted on the forums - please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines
We hope the forums can be a supportive space for you and we encourage you reach out to our confidential NEDA Helpline if you want help finding support options and resources at 800.931.2237 M-Th 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET.  You can also chat with us online M-Th 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-5pm ET. Please don’t hesitate to reach out
. Keep going - you are not alone!