National Eating Disorders Association

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First time here.

I'm about 6 months into recovery, but I'm stuck. Psychologically my relationship with food is worse than ever, but in the sense that I've essentially 'gone off' everything!

When I go to the shops I'm on the verge of panic attacks trying to work out what I'm supposed to get to eat. When I do buy myself ingredients or ready meals or components of a meal, by the time I get home I can't think of anything worse to eat. I Google recipes and look on delivery sites but as soon as I see photos of the foods or think about them for too long I start to feel really nauseous.

I live with housemates and we're all on conflicting schedules, so I only have myself to rely on to decide what to make and eat, but it's getting more and more debilitating every day, and for snacks, it's even worse. Everything feels like it has too much flavour, it's too strong, or on the opposite hand, it's seems like the blandest dryest thing in the world.

At the moment I'm basically living on bread, which is something but leaves me feeling pretty bad mentally and physically at the end of the day.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do to, but this needs to stop. It's stressing me out in ways I can't describe and making recovery feel impossible.

I'm waiting to begin therapy from the eating disorder team in my local NHS but still have at least 3 months to go.

Please help!

Thank you x

Welcome to the forums

​​Hi keb93, welcome to the forums! We are glad that you reached out for some advice and support. We wanted to remind you that you can always reach out to the NEDA helpline if you feel like you need more support or access to more resources in the meantime. The helpline phone hours are Monday through Thursday 11am-9pm ET and Friday 9am-5pm ET and can be reached by calling 800-932-2237; you can also use the online chat to speak to someone Monday through Thursday 9am-9pm ET and Friday 9am-5pm ET. Keep posting and stay strong!

I’m so sorry to hear about

I’m so sorry to hear about all the stress you’re facing right now. And that healthcare is not coming through for you. I can definitely resonate - even in recovery, having to make decisions about what to eat can be so incredibly overwhelming! Have you thought about trying to find an eating disorder dietician? They can help you come up with a meal plan that meets your needs. I found that so helpful for me to nourish my body and get what I need. They can help you give some structure to those decisions. I hope you’re able to stay strong during this difficult time. Please don’t beat yourself up trying to nourish your body. You can feed yourself. Whatever you need. I’m sorry it’s so overwhelming. Sending strength. Know you are worthy and deserving of nourishment, love, and care, today, and every day