National Eating Disorders Association

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wheezing
Actually trying to recover

Okay so I'm seventeen and my family doesn't believe eating disorders exist so I don't actually know what I have-- but I know it's not nothing. Basically-- I don't eat. Most of the time it's not conscious-- like I don't think "Don't eat that!" I just... don't eat. But then I go into a funk-- usually triggered-- where I do it intentionally. Recently I got home from a month visiting family on the other side of the US and found out my mom's doing keto to lose weight. Honestly, it kinda got to me. Usually I would make dinner for the household when my dad's working but now she can't eat certain things so she has to make her own food-- and my siblings only eat chicken nuggets so I was on my own. So I consciously didn't eat. Between my mom and boyfriend both trying to lose weight it started to get me really bad-- and then my parents noticed I'm severely underweight. The past couple days it got real bad, I started compulsively weighing myself and meticulously counting my calories (something I've literally never done) and yesterday was just... horrible... I cut back my usual calories, completely ghosted my boyfriend, lied to literally everyone saying I already ate-- etc etc. I'm leaving out some things but you get the gist. I want to get better and actually better this time-- I want to be able to pick up my two year old brother without struggling or be able to run down the street without dying... My goal includes muscle of course, but I need help. I'm not sure where to go. I can't make myself eat that much without feeling like I'm gonna vomit. I've been pushing myself and I feel terrible. Any help or advice would be amazing!

I can't go to a doctor or anything cause of my parents-- but I have a boyfriend and two best friends who may not get it but they really do try/

_admin_moderator
welcome!

Welcome to the forums Wheezing! It's great that you are reaching out and posting, however we did have to slightly edit your post. The use of numbers violates our community guidelines, as they could be triggering for others. You can view our community guidelines here, https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines. Keep posting!