National Eating Disorders Association

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workingonitc19
Help!!! Also..Friends?

Hi!
I'm super new here. I've been eating disordered since 2016, but this summer has gotten really bad. I suffer from anorexia as well as a major binge/purge disorder, and my weight skyrockets from super lows to super highs in the span of weeks. I'm just now trying to get help as my health is on the decline. I have an appointment with professionals Monday, and I'm scared I might be hospitalized. Sorry for dumping all of this out there and if it's inappropriate, please feel free to correct me with anything if necessary.
I'm finally admitting I need help, but I really, really, really need some friends in recovery. I struggle maintaining friendships with some of my current friends suffering with eds as we all bounce in and out of recovery and tend to trigger ourselves. This is my first non-proana forum (those were the worst for me, I'm trying to undo the damage they gave me!) and I'd really like some people who get what eating disorders are like to talk to, but people that are in recovery so we don't trigger each other. I'm also really struggling with body dysmorphia right now so if anyone has any tips for that, please, please, please let me know.
Thanks if you read all this, and I'm sorry if anything I posted is potentially inappropriate for this forum, don't hesitate to correct me!

friendlyfox
hey workingonit19.

hey workingonit19.

I completely understand how you feel. Although I haven’t been suffering from ED as long as you have, it still has been a very hard road. That’s amazing you are going to see professionals on Monday! I’m in recovery as well, and although it’s hard to not look at the calories, it’s definitely worth it in the end. I don’t have any friends with EDs, so i’m glad to have someone to talk to :). good luck on your journey to recovery :)

workingonitc19
Thanks :)

Thanks! I ended up having a few health complications, but I'm feeling super motivated to get back into lifting again. I'm so proud of you for choosing recovery, I wish you the best! It's hard to get that little voice to stop counting in your head, y'know?

friendlyfox
Workingonit19-

I’m sorry to hear about the health complications, but I hope you’re well! Yes I completely understand about the counting. No matter how hard I try to not count I just can’t help it! It’s like even if I don’t physically look at the calories I still have most of them memorized from earlier on :(.
That’s so awesome you want to get back into lifting! That’s such a huge step :)