National Eating Disorders Association

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Nishita
Lacking support

am a seventeen year old girl from and Indian household. I am what I consider a pretty healthy weight but nevertheless, I am put on a diet recently along with vigorous exercise training. I love to eat food and I eat decently like under control but this diet doesn’t have a thing that I like and it’s very strict, my father made it himself. I want to get fitter and I am ready to work on it but I just hate the schedule, it’s like a third class weight loss plan. My father blackmails me saying that if I don’t follow it, he won’t take me to the gym. I love myself but they are so judgemental about everything that I eat and have always been. Even as a child below 10, I remember sneaking and keeping things in place so that I won’t be questioned even when I have never been overweight in my life. I have just stopped eating because of all this, I don’t want to eat anything like this, it’s better to eat nothing. I have a sweet tooth and I can’t eat sweets at all, I don’t have any problem with that but they should at least be considerate of my feelings and not eat them right in front of me while making tasty noises. Even before all this, whenever we got something that I liked, they said oh! Nishita doesn’t want to eat this which made all my appetite go down the drain. It’s okay to make fun but they did it every time which really hurt me and now because if the COVID situation here in India and all, I have been living with these monsters for 1.5 years. Even now where I don’t want to eat anything they first urge me to eat and then I deny so even if I grab something, they go you are not taking it to eat right, don’t eat anything. They are so heartless and emotionless. I don’t know how to help myself and I hate myself so much for that. #eatingdisorder

_admin_moderator
Hi Nishita, welcome to the

Hi Nishita, welcome to the forums. We edited your post slightly to remove height and weight numbers and mentions of specific food items, which are not allowed on the forums – you can review our community guidelines here

We are sorry to hear about what is going on with your family. If you need assistance finding resources, please contact the NEDA Helpline at 800.931.2237 M-Th 11am-9pm ET and F 11am-5pm ET. Additionally, you can chat with us online M-Th 9am-9pm ET and F 9am-5pm ET. 

If you feel you are in crisis, you can also text “NEDA” to 741-741 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which can be reached at 1-800- 273- TALK (8255). Your well-being matters, and we hope you stay safe and take care. 

Annet
Hi Nishista,

I am sorry to hear about the situation in your home. I do have a toxic family and perfectly understand how difficult is to eat/not purge when all that they do is to make your life hard.
However, it is important you to understand that there is only ONE life and that in order to enjoy it, we need to be healthy.

If you stop eating, you will eventually damage your body and for some of those damages, there is not a way back. As of now, you have to live in that house and with that people. But soon, you will be an adult and you will be able to live on your own.

In my culture, we are supposed to live home until we get married. But I left before. First to pursue a master's degree and then, to live on my own.

And even when you continue to live at home, the pandemic will eventually allow us to do more and more things. So, you will not have to spend all your time there.

What I want to say is that you need to nourish yourself. Listen to your body and to your hunger cues. You better than anyone else know what is good for you. If someone is forcing you to follow a specific diet and that person is not a professional, then, don't do it. Ask that person to take you to a professional if she/he wants u to be on a diet.

I send you a warm hug and PLEASE, do not restrict or fall down into the eating disorder's world. It is HELL and it can make you dependant on those around you (if u come to a point where u are unable to take care of yourself)

Annet