National Eating Disorders Association

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Emoryann
All Alone and Need Help

Hi,
So I haven't ever been diagnosed with anything, but basically my deal is that I have an intense fear of eating in public, and I have "safe people" and "safe places" where I can eat, but they're pretty limited, and it's making me miserable. I also skip meals a lot, and I tried purging for a while, but it didn't go so well, so I don't do that anymore, but I restrict a lot, and I exercise. I'm also terrified of appearing “fat,” and for 2 1/2 years I wore really baggy and large clothing to hide. I'm working on that last one though, I got some crop tops that I like and I'm trying to work my way up to a bathing suit for summer, but I don't know if I'm ready yet. Anyways, the thing that really bothers me though is my mom (I'm 14) because I do all that stuff, and she doesn't notice a thing. I also harm myself in other ways (I'm working on that too) and she didn't notice that either. And it wouldn't bother me so much except she's constantly talking to me about my two little sisters, and she always worries about them and wether or not they have body issues, and it just makes me nuts because they are so confidant, and my middle sister rocks bikinis every year, (not to say she can't or doesn't have body issues, but that if she does, they aren't obvious) and I couldn't even put on a bathing suit last year, and she's still worried about them. And I know I should cut her some slack because she has mental health issues of her own, and she's really struggling right now, but I'm so tired of trying to support her, my sisters, and myself. Anyways, thats why I haven't gotten any help, because I can't talk about it, and she doesn't notice anything, and I don't know what to do. Help?

_admin_moderator
Resources

Hi Emoryann! Welcome to the forums. We’re glad you’re here. Since you mentioned harming yourself, we wanted to make sure you knew there are resources available to you if you ever need to reach out for support: 

Additionally, you are welcome to contact the NEDA Helpline at (800) 931-2237. Helpline phone hours are Monday-Thursday from 11 am to 9 pm EST, and Friday from 11 am to 5 pm EST. Helpline chat hours are Monday-Thursday from 9 am to 9 pm EST and Friday 9 am to 5 pm EST. You can contact the Helpline for support, resources, and treatment options. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. Lastly, your post had to be edited to comply with our Community Guidelines. Please take a moment to review our guidelines to keep this a safe space for everybody, and please continue posting!