National Eating Disorders Association

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I just learned this

My fiance is 21 years old and he has been struggling with an ED for over 8 years now. He was extremely abused as a child so I know that's a big trigger. I just found out he has a pricate Twitter account following "Thinspo" and things alike. Its a very toxic environment hes put himself in and I just wanna know the best ways to help him out of it.

Just finding out.

Dear Sayia,

Yes, men can eating disorders too. Which means doing all sorts of different things, and looking at thinspo too.

The childhood abuse that he suffered, that really can have an important effect on a person, and it's possible that it's even more important than his eating disorder, as far as something that is having an effect on his life, and the ways that he feels about himself inside. Like that EDs can be a symptom of something bigger, you know ?

This is going to sound obvious I know, but is there some way that he can get some therapy ? Often issues like these are not something that a partner can solve. Because our relationship with the person, and the role that it's proper for us to play, is different than the relationship that they would have with a therapist. If that makes any sense ?

Hopefully we can provide a safe and an accepting atmosphere for them though. As people who are aware of their problems and struggles, and yet still think of them as a worthy person.

Anyhow, just some quick thoughts. Keep writing ?

I'm so sorry

It's difficult to know a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder. What has helped in my marriage, me being the one to struggle, is knowing my husband loves me no matter my size. He would encourage me to eat, but not force it on me. Having his hand to hold when I wss consumed with thoughts about eating, food, body image really helped over the past 4 years of relapsing. Having him be encouraging when I was down about myself and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself really helped. Being able to trust my husband 100 percent really helped.
But I also realized that I needed more help than he could give me. Having those boundaries was essential to my recovery. It's coming up on 4 months of being in recovery.
I hope this helps in some way.