National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
iFast2eat

Hi. I am not going into a hospital. I was in in November. I have returned to work this past Wednesday. I work with senior citizens as a home health aide.

I started keeping a food journal yesterday.

My parent's live three houses away and my sister is staying with them for the foreseeable future.

I do not plan on taking any more classes because of my memory issues.

Thanks for checking in. How are you doing?

2Healthy4me
You Really Seem So Insightful

Especially when it comes to responding to others about ED Recovery. What issues do you have w/ your memory. I thought last I heard from reading your entries, that you were dedicated to school and had done a really good job the 1st time you had taken a class on Addictions. I hope you are able to heal and meet the goals you had set for yourself and your future. Is the 1 sister your only sibling? She is taken care of by your parents. It sounds like she is very sensitive to many different health issues. You sound like you are Army Strong Girl. Stay strong, you have your entire future ahead of you.

iwanttolive
thank you

Hi Ifast2eat. I just woke up from a nap and saw your post. Yes, I have experienced a lot and have been in therapy forever, so God has given me a gift of understanding and being able to help others. It also helps me when I post or respond to others, kinda like preaching to the choir.

I had hopes of being able to get some sort of certification in peer counseling, but that isn't offered anymore. It may be available at another college but not my local one. I have serious memory issues that stem partially from my brain not developing properly. I have what is know as "face blindness" which makes it vert difficult to remember people and or what they look like. I often do not recognize people I have known for a long time or their names. It takes me a very long time to remember people say at church. Or if I see someone at the store, I may not recognize them or their name. I a lot of times pretend I know who I am talking to because I am embarrassed that I do not remember them but in the last year or so I am more open about it and tell people, especially new people, about my problem and if they could tell me who they are and where I know them from it would be helpful. I also have a problem with directions and getting lost even in my own area of where I live. I need my GPS and even with that it sometimes takes a year to learn a simple route going to my clients house several times a week.

It interferes with reading and remembering characters or sequences in events. When watching a movie I have difficulty remembering characters and may not be able to recognize certain people from one scene to the next.

So that is a brief understanding about the memory. Even here I forget what someone is going through and rely on rereading some of the posts to get peoples stories right.

I would not do well if I had to work in a psych hospital because I wouldn't be able to remember the residents or when doing notes on people who each person was and what happened in the day. I would like to do that kind of work because I love people and helping but I will stick with working one on one with the seniors. I love that.

As for my sister, yes. She has serious medical issues and is currently suffering a lot. She is with my parent's both of them being nurses though retired. Once a nurse, always a nurse. I have four sisters. Yes, four, with one we adopted although not legally, she is considered daughter number six and sister number five. We are all close in age but separated by pain.

I fight. I refuse to allow the enemy take me down. I have been dealing with urges to self harm but do not want to go down that road again. I was on it for far too long. And I am getting help and support for the overeating/binging. The eating disorder I lived with for thirty years was serious and severe. I now struggle with remnants of it and it still seems that it is strong at times but my therapist is helping me understand that will all that is going on right now in my family and with this Covid thing that slipping in this area is understandable. For me it is understandable but I am fighting it and getting support and help and doing all I can do to not allow it come back. I have come too far to go back. So I soldier on. I say we get that recovery muscle strong, that we are in this together and that we are warriors.

That was a long answer. Sorry. I hope you are doing okay. How are you? Thank you for checking in and asking me questions. Feel free to ask anything.

With love,
iwanttolive

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