National Eating Disorders Association

4 posts / 0 new
Last post

Is it weird that thinking back to when I was most sick, that it seems all glamorous is when I KNOW it was anything but that. I mean I was cold ALL the time, unable to eat or act normal in situations where I had to eat, constantly exercising without time to do anything else, messing up my sleep cycles, concentration, and multiple friendships. I guess the nostalgia associated with my Anorexia is just my ED still talking...


Yeah, I totally relate. Anytime with both my eating disorder and my other mental illnesses, even though I knew in my head, that it was totally irrational, At the same time I felt that it was really in a melodramatic way, very glamorous as you say. It's kind of like that's the only way that anyone would give me any attention. It's unfortunate. It's basically the only way anyone would ever take care of me. I never had anybody to take care of me my entire life because I took care of everybody since I was four. But anytime I got in trouble, so to speak, Due to my mental illnesses and then my eating disorder, I had to be hospitalized. And then somebody else took care of me. So yeah in a way it became glamorous. It sort of became like a television show or movie. I don't know if this is the way to which you are referring it, but this is how I lived my life, unfortunately for so many years. Hopefully both of us can stop living our lives this way and start being quote-unquote normal. Although, is there really any normal? I don't know. But take care of yourself as best as you can. And I hope things improve soon.

Thanks for the insight

I’m sorry that you haven’t really had anyone to take care of you. You are very strong to be able to take care of others and for learning learned to help yourself without your ED. I just try to remind myself that my ED was not working in my interest and the other day when I went to my ED counselor she told me, “Anorexia’s goal is to kill you and it will do anything to do it even try to convince you of unrealistic things” At first I was a little defensive but mostly I was really surprised so I guess the “glamour” or “nostalgia” is just the ED trying to take root... Well thanks for the insight and I hope you are well. :)

I understand what you mean.

I understand what you mean. Sometimes when my symptoms come back, like dizziness, coldness, and hairloss. I don't know... I feel proud. I have no idea why. Maybe it was just a way to prove to myself that I had control.

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.