National Eating Disorders Association

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CASACERA
LEFT OUT AND ON MY OWN

Where to go? What if there was no place like this for a woman suffering from anorexia or bulimia or both? The largest eating disorder group with a serious affliction resulting or contributing enormously to devastating health (physical and emotional and yes, financial life issues) are women (like me) in the binge eating category. The founder of BEDA (binge eating disorder assoc.)said "we" are now officially included in the "eating disorder" category. In my own way can you hear me screaming? Like I said previously in one of my posts. It's like the Silent Scream famous painting. As with any physical, psychological, emotional disorder, although much in common, yes even binge eaters are each unique (our own DNA/life histories etc.) You might ask what is my "binge eating" like? Sought out and have had help for this disorder my whole life. "Been there, done that". But I have to keep eating and when I eat my mind is in an altered state as one therapist recently told me. Restrict eating? I go through terrible trauma and avoid fasting even for a necessary routine blood test. I've never thrown up, gone on whacko diets or meds. or become a compulsive exerciser. BUT, wrecking my digestive system, my teeth, and the torture of weight gain (which some of you might relate to) resulting in diabetes, high blood pressure etc. etc. etc. and with so many resorting to the body assaulting gastric bypass surgery. plus and still the total rejection of society as "fat and ugly" one word. When last here I requested perhaps the Administrators add a new category for binge eaters specifically. Keep hoping when some time has elapsed I'll get a blessed surprise and see it happen here. Still asking. Wish me luck ATK et al. Have a blessed and peaceful holiday. CC

Savedbygrace
I hear you

And I'm sorry you are struggling, but there are no categories on here for anorexia, bulimia, ARFID or orthorexia. Why? Because there is no eating disorder worse or better than another. This is a community of ALL types of eating disorders.

CASACERA
thanks for responding

Don't see anything "worse or better". Suffering is suffering, pain is pain etc. But as with any condition or malady I've struggled with or go through, for me it helps to hear and go back and forth with someone who is struggling with my condition. I'm reading not being able to eat. Just because there is a core issue re: food Compulsive overeating is special in itself, need others give and take to help make it through. The fact that someone may have an episode with this just not the same. I suffer from food addiction and it exhibits itself in compulsive overeating or called binge eating (whatever style, I'm a grazer).

Savedbygrace
Actually

That's what has been going on. People will post their struggle with their eating disorder, and then others struggling with the same will respond to provide support.

alwaysthinking
I understand

For starters, hi!! It's good to hear from you again. I understand what you are saying, I think. Just as we all need to feel unified and allowed to express any feelings, fears, doubts, and worries we may have around eating, there also comes a need when we need to feel like we can freely express EXACTLY how we want/need to cope with our particular e.d. The problem arises with how to do that and still make it a safe environment that doesn't have conversations that trigger others. I think what C.C. is saying and hoping will happen, is that if there were a separate forum for BED, then she would feel and be more comfortable and able to talk about her patterns and behaviors without the fear of triggering others, because ALL the members would likely have the same issues and shouldn't be triggered. It's touchy, and I can see why the moderators are probably hesitant to do it, because everyone is so different, and what may not trigger one person could very well trigger another, even though they both have BED. It's possible that it wouldn't have to be as strict as what the guidelines were; I don't know. I simply understand both points of view. Hang in there, C.C., and I would still love to hear from you more often.

Savedbygrace
I understand

But I guess what I have an issue with is that if there's a category, not that it isn't important, for BED, there should be a category for anorexia, another for bulimia, another for ARFID, another for Orthorexia, and that's a lot for the moderators to keep track of. I understand casacera needs that, but I don't think the moderators are going to start that category for the reason I mentioned. I'm sure casacera could find support groups in her area for extra support. The best way to find those groups would be to talk to NEDA. She is always welcome to post on this site to get support. There's also asking for support group from a therapist, psychiatrist or possibly medical professional or treatment team members.

CASACERA
anyone here go on Rosie's Chub Club?

2002-2003 around that time? It was an incredible helpful site. Her show ended and so did The Chub Club. You had your e-mail, password and nickname. Thousands of women logged on. 24/7 If something wasn't helpful or you didn't like it you passed it by. The world is filled with eating food "triggers". How to get help in dealing with "triggers" but more than that how to manage addictive behavior from something that you love and also have to keep doing? I don't hear loving food here,
I've never seen it once. But I do. How to manage my voracious appetite and can't stop when I'm eating a wonderful, healthy etc. meal. I tell myself ahead of time."Get up from the table etc. do something you've wanted to do". But I'm on some kind of auto-pilot when I start eating. BUT when I had the Chub Club to go to, I had that second to run to my computer and logged on and post "help, I don't want to continue". AND because there were hundreds out there someone posted in an instant "hang on, s'kay, me, too" It was like someone holding your hand and telling you, "you can survive, it will pass." Bottom line: for those 5-6 yrs. I managed my eating. Still loved and enjoyed food but was very comfortable in terms of my body. CC

CASACERA
Thank you ATK and Happy Holidays

For your understanding. What led me here was/is the lack of what Saved By Grace has responded and suggested sincerely trying to be helpful. My thoughts. Food was first life and love from my mother. But for whatever reason it became something much more during puberty and my subconscious brain never forgets and fights my sensible, adult self, who has lost the "eat when you're physically hungry, have the food you want and stop when you're full". "Physically hungry?" what's that? I do the 2nd part. "Have the food (and I might add tasty and healthy) I want". "Stopping when I'm full?" Another "dream on". Amongst ALL the other avenues of suggested help over the years, programs, hospitals, therapists etc., 15 yrs. in OA. 12 step programs, can be very helpful EXCEPT when one doesn't need their addiction to live. Imagine telling someone to drink 3 times a day at least. But the people were great, no judgement or advice. Just saying "where you were at" and often just relating to maybe part of the other's experience or struggle or how they were finding some peace with enjoying the food they love but, at the same time maintaining an actual healthy and comfortable weight and size. For the precious periods of time that I have had this it's like some oasis or remission, free from preoccupation and relief from (the poem I posted) "the monkey on my back".

alwaysthinking
Peace

I hope you find some peace and are able to get what support you can from us. Love you, C.C.

CASACERA
right back 'atcha ATK

Said it all in my last two posts. Always and Happy New Year, CC

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