National Eating Disorders Association

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Am I doing this recovery thing right?

Hi guys! A week ago I decided that it was time to recover from my restrictive/ binge cycle. Before this I have loss a lot of weight and according to the internet I wasn’t too below a healthy BMI for my age and height. I’m still waiting on a therapist and nutritionist but I decided to take the first steps myself while I wait. Well in the past week I’ve already had a few ups and downs. The first night I overate, but I didn’t let it stop me I ate a meal the next day, still hesitant however. Then the next day I ate meals and then overate until I felt sick at night so I restricted all the next day and ate the next. I felt bad I wanted to restrict again but I felt motivated to keep going, so I ate small but overate a few snacks at night, but I didn’t let it hurt me because the next day was thanksgiving, and I ate a plate but not too much but I’m still very proud of myself. Now the day after thanksgiving, I thought I challenge a fear food and I did but now I feel very scared like I shouldn’t eat when I’m hungry later and I feel like I can only eat healthy things later on. I have the thoughts all the time but I’m not sure if I should listen to them or what because I eat a lot of carb heavy foods and It just doesn’t feel right. Also after I eat a meal and satisfy my hunger, I still think and think about food. I’ll be thinking about what I’ll eat for dinner or snack or I’ll be thinking about just taking every snack in the pantry and just eating it all. I’m not sure if it’s just mental hunger or if it’s me wanting to binge. I don’t like to give into it because my body is already at a healthy BMI. I’m scared I’ll gain weight if I let in to the cravings. And I also am not sure if it’s extreme or mental hunger because I could just be wanting to eat just to eat and not really recovering. It’s hard to explain, like I feel like I’m not qualified in a sort of way to be eating a lot or recovering because my recovery isn’t coming from a extreme starting place. I haven’t scheduled a nutritionist yet but I have scheduled with a therapist. I’m trying to push it out into then but I’m not sure if I am even doing this right. Thank you for your answers.

Stay Strong

Good job for seeking help! And thank you for posting on the forum. Hopefully your therapist will have some insight. I can relate to constantly thinking of my next meal and always having food on my mind. It may seem like a overwhelming tower now, but it will get easier every single day if you build on small healthy habits. Its a process and cant happen overnight, Good luck!

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