National Eating Disorders Association

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Jayge
I’m curious

Do any of you dream about food? I feel like every dream of mine lately has been about food and eating. Additionally, I catch myself daydreaming about it, and playing those buzzfeed food quizzes, and watching cooking/baking videos on YouTube. It’s on my mind constantly.

It feels kind of primitive. And it feels a bit cruel, to dream of all these foods I want to eat but can’t because I’m terrified of letting go of my restrictiveness.

Does anyone else relate?

Blue44
I can relate

I have experienced the same sort of thing. I know that others I met while in PHP treatment experienced the same thing also. I guess it’s our mind trying to get us to eat.

alwaysthinking
Yep

Been there, done that. Totally relate. What I really hate is how much I fantasize about creating new recipes. I bake a lot, or at least I used to, before this "thing" took over my life, and I made up my own recipes. Any more, I've been staring at my refrigerator, looking at the contents, and my brain is rapidly creating one recipe after another, just like when it used to rapidly calculate calories I'd consumed. I am wishing with all my heart that I could just make these delicious recipes and also eat them, and then I go into full panic mode, and the food stays put, and nothing happens. Grr!! I hate our e.d.'s!!

Lizuli26
Have you tried just writing out the recipes?

Then you can either follow them through yourself if it makes it easier, or ask someone supportive to for you? It’s a good challenge for the controlling-exactly-what-goes-in thing too...even just writing them out might be cathartic?

Miggi
I totally relate! I do ALL of

I totally relate! I do ALL of those things. I almost feels like if it's not food related it bores me. If the topic of food comes up, I love to discuss what is everyones favorite ice cream and so on. I only watch food videos, and those buzzfeed quizzes control my life. Although, i've tried to stop doing this because I think Its what lead to my obsession surrounding food. It;s all I think about...

Lizuli26
It gets more boring...!

I’ve heard a lot of experts say that with nutritional rehabilitation the fascination goes away...and it definitely did for me! I would watch those shows for hours, and now I could not care less... I reckon diet culture has led to so many people feeling deprived that their only real outlet is food porn!