National Eating Disorders Association

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weouthere
Struggling with relapse

It's been a while since I've posted on here, but I'm back. I've been in recovery since February and I saw a therapist through my university for free for most of the Spring semester. Unfortunately, the school doesn't have the money to provide counseling longer than 1 semester per person so I would have to pay for a therapist myself if I try again. The thing is I didn't think I was even going to need this otherwise I would have sorted it out in the summer, but now with classes and work going on I don't have time to drive out to see a therapist in the middle of the week. I was doing really well at the end of last semester, I wasn't having any ED thoughts and I thought I would be fine this semester without any help. I started working out this summer because I work at a gym at the front desk so the membership is free and I needed something to keep me busy and out of summer depression. It started off innocent and wanting to have some muscle on my body since I lost it all from my ED. It got more unhealthy and I was going X times a week, I got some muscle definition but now that I'm in classes and can only go X times a week. I've gone back to restricting and skipping meals all the time. I know this doesn't help grow muscles which is frustrating but I am so stressed with school that I don't have time to plan out meals or grocery shop or cook for myself or think about recovery right now. I wish someone would notice and say something but my best friend is too occupied with her "boy troubles" to notice that I'm falling apart. TLDR: I'm relapsing and I don't know what to do

alwaysthinking
Sorry

I'm sorry you're struggling. I know how frustrating it can be not to have anyone notice when you are backsliding. Its good that you recognize that you are, at least. Do you know of any support groups in the area? Maybe NEDA can give you an idea of low-cost therapists on your area, too. It sounds like that would be helpful. Here for you.

julesthefox
I’m sorry to hear you’re

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling again. I understand how frustrating that can be. School really has a way of stressing us out; you’re definitely not alone. Have you thought about seeing if there’s a dietician who’s educated in eating disorders you can work with? Or maybe a good assistance program? I know that’s nothing compared to therapy, but maybe if you can get on a meal plan from your school, that would take off some of the pressure of having to go out and shop for groceries.
I hope you’re able to find the support you need. We’re rooting for you
Julesthefox

weouthere
Thank you

Thank you guys so much for your comments its so nice to know that someone is out there sympathizing. I have been looking for low cost therapists and found one for $30 a session which may be the best I can get for a professional and not an intern. I've never had a dietitian before or any kind of meal plan and my school definitely doesn't offer one so that's off the table. I'm hoping this will be worth the money and not another disappointment. Today was better, I got groceries, made a bunch of food to keep in the fridge and hold myself to finishing by the end of the week.

My biggest worry with a therapist is that she'll try to make me stop going to the gym. I've made so much progress and I am able to do way more now that I'm stronger than I was post ED and I really don't want to go back there. I was so weak I could barely bring my suitcase into my apartment. Does anyone have any experience with that or know how I can keep exercising while recovering?

_admin_moderator
Medical Signs and Symptoms

Hello. You mentioned you were experiencing a concerning physical symptom so for precaution we are posting up some signs and symptoms to keep an eye out for. The following are just some of the signs of a serious problem that demands immediate medical attention:• accidentally or deliberately caused themselves a physical injury• become suicidal• confused thinking and is not making any sense• delusions (false beliefs) or hallucinations (experiencing things that aren’t there)• disoriented; doesn’t know what day it is, where they are or who they are• vomiting several times a day or has uncontrollable vomiting or diarrhea• experiencing dizziness or fainting spells• too weak to walk or collapses• painful muscle spasms• experience pain in the lower legs • complaining of chest pain or having trouble breathing• blood in their bowel movements, urine or vomit• a body mass index (BMI) of less than 16• an irregular heartbeat, and fast heartbeat, or very low heart beat (less than 50 beats per minute)• cold or clammy skin indicating a low body temperature or has a body temperature ofless than 35 degrees Celsius/95 degrees Fahrenheit• experience dizziness, nausea, fever• wounds/cuts heal slowly• feel tingling in the hands or feet• blurred visionOr for any other medical concerns. If you experience anything above, we highly recommend seeking help from a medical professional as soon as possible. Seek medical help soon on an outpatient basis if you:• have significant heartburn and/or a burning sensation after eating• have other gastrointestinal concerns• have high blood pressure• struggle with significant joint or muscle pain• have difficulty sleeping (falling and/or remaining asleep)• struggle with fatigue, sudden weight gain, and/or hair loss• have frequent urination or unquenchable thirst• have gained and lost significant weight repeatedly• have gained significant weight in a short period of time• struggle with chronic diarrhea or constipation 

lovetowrite81
Weouthere

Hello-

Just wanted to check in and see how you have been doing since your post? Have you gotten a chance to meet with the new therapist yet and if so, how did it go? Hope to hear from you again soon <3