National Eating Disorders Association

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Miggi
Always Thinking About Food

I remember when I was restricting I would obsess and dream about my next meal. I thought that once I started eating again I wouldn't think about my next meal all the time, but I still do. Everyday, all day, I think about what my next meal will be, when it will be, and how much it will be. It keeps me up at night, and if I go out to eat I rarely focus on the person i'm with but rather on what i'll order. And if I decide to treat myself to a dessert i'll think about how I didn't need it, and feel the urge to restrict. But I can't, because if anyone saw me skip a meal, they'd be upset with me. Not only that, but the only thing that makes the obsessive thoughts go away is just plain saying, "I won't have a next meal."

_admin_moderator
Welcome!

Hi, Miggi! Thank you for posting. We’re sorry to hear about what’s going on! We hope that you’re able to get the support you deserve here on the forums! We edited parts of your post as specific details could be triggering to other members of the forum. Please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelinesIf you’re looking for resources, please feel free to contact the Helpline at (800) 931-2237. The Helpline is open Mondays-Thursdays 9AM-9PM EST and Fridays 9AM-5PM EST. During these hours you can chat with us also by clicking the chat now option at the top right hand corner! Please continue posting! 

alwaysthinking
Welcome

I know when I first was going through recovery, it was the same for me. It's not not nearly as bad now. I hope that gives you some encouragement. Hang in there. I hope you continue to post about your feelings and get the support you deserve. Welcome to the forum.