National Eating Disorders Association

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JennHarter
Injury and Confusion

I've been reading forum posts for a while now, but this is my first time posting content. For the last few years, I've kept my weight stable by carefully balancing exercising with enough food to keep my weight healthy. However, 3 months ago I hurt both of my achilles during a run, and I haven't been able to walk more than a few feet since. It's really hard being back in a place where I feel so helpless and my only stress reliever, besides not eating, has been taken away. Yesterday, my parents and doctors told me that I'm going to have to use a wheelchair if I want to stay at school, but they don't understand how many horrible memories are associated with being in a wheelchair. My parents keep telling me that I'm overreacting, but being back in a chair only reminds me of the time I spent in the hospital. Not to mention that I"m rapidly gaining weight, and there is no end in sight for when my achilles might be healed. I'm expected to smile and act like it's no big deal, but for me it's everything. I've spent the last year reading posts on this forum because it's the only place I feel like someone understands the war in my head -- how hard it is to devote so much energy towards convincing yourself to eat. I guess it's just nice to share my thoughts in a space where everyone understands. Thanks for listening.

alwaysthinking
i get it

i keep getting stuck in a wheelchair here in the hospital, so i totally get it. i understand how triggering that must be. sorry you're dealing with that, and i hope things improve for you. here for you, and i'm glad you posted

butterflying
Hi JennHarter

Sometimes it can take a while for us to have the courage or will to reach out and talk about what you have been going through. I'm glad you decided you felt comfortable enough to finally write a post of your own. I'm so sorry to hear about your injury and how that has affected your ED. Maybe this will give you some time to find out more about your and the other hobbies you enjoy and can use to cope.
I think your feelings about the wheelchair is completely reasonable, espeically since you have a traumatic memory of being in one. That's a shame your parents think your overreacting over that.
I've been told for years to just put on a smile and act like everything is okay, but I learned I can't live like that, even it that means going through some hard times.
I hope your week started to turn around for you. Keep in touch <3