National Eating Disorders Association

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Periodicmemes
Anxious about starting treatment

I can't truly feel/accept i need help because I'm not the weight I was before... And I feel like i eat too much especially because I haven't been as successful with fasting, I tell myself I'm just eating too much to actually need help. Idk it makes me hella anxious to consider changing my ways though too I can't stand the idea of gaining any more weight

_admin_moderator
Welcome!

Hi, Periodicmemes! Thank you for posting. We’re sorry to hear about what’s going on! We hope that you’re able to get the support you deserve here on the forums! When you get the chance, please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelinesIf you’re looking for resources, please feel free to contact the Helpline at (800) 931-2237. The Helpline is open Mondays-Thursdays 9AM-9PM EST and Fridays 9AM-5PM EST. During these hours you can chat with us also by clicking the chat now option at the top right hand corner! Please continue posting! 

Periodicmemes
Im sorry, i don't have great

Im sorry, i don't have great memory, but did my post originally have my ideal? Ill try to be more mindful of that

iwanttolive
Periodicmemes

Hi there. Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you are feeling that you don't deserve help because you are eating a certain amount. Can I tell you something? SO many of us have felt or feel exactly as you do, myself included, that we were not sick enough to require treatment or help. And you know what? It really is a lie. For me, I was so ill and so sick my parents were afraid for me. And I was like, I am not sick enough, there is nothing wrong with me. AND it doesn't matter how much one weighs or eats, it is the emotional pain, suffering, how food keeps up from living, hiding from people or events or parties or just enjoying life. It is having thoughts of food and being terrorized by these thoughts, thinking we are not good enough or not thin enough or hiding behind a body that we don't like because we think these things will keep us safe. The idea that we have to be restricting or a certain size to qualify for help is often a way to not allow ourselves to get the help we really need. Unfortunately some hospital programs will only take people who are a certain weight but that is not all of them. I wanted to get help because I was not able to stop binging, and the hospital said I wouldn't qualify, but that doesn't mean there isn't help out there.. There are outpatient programs and day programs. And a lot of hospitals will take someone if the eating disorder is really affecting their life and being able to function. So know that it is a very common feeling that "I am not sick enough". I think most if not all of us have felt that at some point. The thing is, if you are struggling, you deserve to get help and support, not matter what. How that help is delivered may be different but help is out there. Don't allow the thoughts to keep you from getting the support and help you need. The fear of gaining weight is also another reason to think I am not sick enough. The fear of getting better, which for some means gaining weight can scare someone from getting the help that is really needed. So I ask you to consider what is keeping you from getting help? Are you more afraid of the process of getting well or has someone told you you don't need help or is it the eating disorder voice trying to keep you in its grip? I know how scary recovery can be, but I also know how freeing and how much better life is in a recovered state. Please think about some of what I said, know that we understand and are here for you. Please post again and I hope I helped some.

Take care,

iwanttolive and I am

alwaysthinking
Periodicmemes

I second that. It took me forever to accept that I needed help. I thought that since I wasn't a certain BMI then I was okay but I knew I really wasn't. And then when I was able to eat more food then I thought I didn't really need help anymore and I really wasn't sick but I really was. There is no quote unquote Sick Enough. If you have an obsession with food or an unhealthy relationship with it you need the help and you deserve it. I hope you can get the support you desperately need and that you can feel supported here.