National Eating Disorders Association

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xbuderflyx12
Drugs&ED

Hi I’m new to this. I haven’t been diagnosed with an eating disorder partly because I never talk about it to anyone.
I’ve been struggling a lot lately. I’ve been substituting drugs, cigarettes and caffeine for food. I haven’t eaten or slept in four days and I’m starting to get really depressed. I’ve been struggling with self-harm a lot recently; yesterday I enacted in some specific self-harm behaviors. I think I’m crazy are about to be!
I’m stuck in this vicious cycle That revolves around my body image food and drugs stemming from my low self-esteem and I’m sure when I was younger training for the Olympics in gymnastics getting weighed in every day and then being called fat by your coaches and teammates didn’t help either. My obsession with food or no food as steadily increased as well as my drug use and self harm behaviors. I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do. Can anyone relate?

_admin_moderator
Welcome

Hello, and welcome to the forums! We had to slighty edit your post due to specific self-harm details that may be triggering to other users.We hope you are able to use this forum for support, but are cocerned for your safetly. If you are in a crisis and need help immediately, text "NEDA" to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you are currently engaging in self-harming behaviors please contact the self-injury crisis line at 1-800-366- 8288. Hope you are doing alright, and continue to seek support.

lovetowrite81
xbuderflyx12

Welcome to the forums! I'm so sorry you have been struggling recently. I'm proud of you for taking the brave step to post here and apologize that your post took several days to receive a response. I was just wondering what has been keeping you from feeling comfortable sharing what you are going through with someone in your life like a friend or family member?

It sounds like you have been through a lot that has made the way for disordered eating issues to emerge- as well as substance use and self-harm. I can imagine it has been a very vicious cycle. Would you be open to seeking professional help? The NEDA forums is a great resource that could assist you with seeking support- 1-800-931-2237. I know for me, starting counseling was key for being able to dive deeper into the deeper issues I was turning to ED to cope with- and I have since found recovery. I can imagine you feel stuck in such a dark place- I just want you to know there is hope.

Keep us posted on how you are doing, we are here for you <3