National Eating Disorders Association

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Planteater
Struggling with triggers and opening up

Hi everyone,
I’m having a lot of trouble with triggers lately. My family just got a scale and it’s really hard to use and not want to instantly restrict or binge. My family all together is a huge trigger, always making comments on my weight and eating habits. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with triggers?
I’m also having a lot of stress about trying to open up and talk to my mom about my struggles and ask for help. Does anyone have advice for how they did it? Or just motivation? I’m struggling with the idea that I deserve help.

alwaysthinking
You deserve it

You definitely deserve help simply because you exist. You are one of God's children and he loves you so you deserve the help you need in order to get better and live the life that he desires for you to live. My suggestion is 2 assertively let them know how you feel when they say certain triggering things. Focus on I statements instead of starting it with the word you. For instance you could say something like I feel really stressed when you talk about my weight. And then you can even continue with what you would like it to change into. Maybe you could say I would really appreciate it if there is no more conversation about my weight and my appearance because it is not helpful. Assertiveness goes a long way with people who are willing to work with you and who truly love you. Hope this helps and know I'm rooting for you

Planteater
Thank you

Thank you this helps a lot. I hope they listen to me and I can get the courage to ask for help.

iwanttolive
Planteateater

Hi. I am so sorry that your family is so focused on the wrong thing. I agree with what alwaysthinking said. Is there anyway you can ask for the scale to be put in a place where you won't know where it is as it can hurt your recovery and increase your behaviors. You are special no matter what you weigh. This is something for most of us to believe even for me at times but we really are so much more than what we weigh. The inner beauty and who we are is so much more important. I wish we could all grab a hold of this Truth. I hope your family listens and stops putting you down for your weight. There is so much more about you than what you weigh. I hope you can begin to believe this.

iwanttolive

Alexo_eats
Family

Family can sometimes be very damaging. Remember though that recovery is for you. When you get or feel better, you can become independent and move away from your family. On dealing with triggers, I love painting, writing, even talking to google, reading, taking a short walk. Anything to get myself out of that trigger and into another mindset. DONT forget to take a breath. It physically helps you to calm down. Disclaimer, all these skills take practice they might not work as well as negative coping skills at first. Best of luck. Sending you love, and support.

alexo