National Eating Disorders Association

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Eisblume01
Feeling so bad help

Last year I was restricting and lost weight, even though I was never underweight, so no one really cared. But then I had months where I would binge every single day, and then I got caught in this overeat-try to purge-restrict cycle, where I am now, and I gained weight, and now I am not overweight but I am almost there. And people are noticing and telling me I gained some weight, including my mum. My dad told me that he was happy to see me eating, when in reality we only have one meal together and that's the only meal I eat, which often ends up in overeating, which then leads to extreme guilt. It makes me feel so terrible. I was eating a bit less lately, trying to lose some weight before I go to the sea, and today my mum told me that I gained weight and that ruined my day. She didn't mean to hurt me, but she just doesn't know what's going on in my head. Now I just binged and I feel terrible, I can't purge and I am terrified of gaining even more weight. I feel so uncomfortable in my own body :(

Savedbygrace
I'm really sorry

I'm so sorry your mom made that comment. It was unhelpful and uncalled for. Know you are beautiful at any size. You can beat this. I can relate to how you're feeling about your body. I'm in a similar boat. I hope you feel better soon.

iwanttolive
Eisblume01

Hi. I am sorry you are struggling so much. I am also sorry for the comments your parents are making. For the average person, being told, You've gained weight" can be difficult to hear and accept. Then for those who have an eating disorder it can really throw one off. I don't even know why someone would make such a comment so I am sorry for the hurt it caused you. Are you able to tell them how such comments affect you and cause such distress? Do they know about the eating disorder?

I know how difficult it is to gain weight, even if people don't make comments. It does affect us, but remember, you are so much more important than what you weigh. I am celebrating one full year of recovery from all behaviors. I have been weight restored from the anorexia but it took a while to be comfortable in my new body. I am at a higher weight than I ever thought I would settle at but I am free. I am not afraid of food, and am happier than I have been in thirty years.

I have learned that what I thought I "needed" was in fact what was keeping me sick. Once I surrendered it to God I have been finding more and more freedom. I am living for the first time. At a weight I used to be afraid of. So, try to accept yourself for who you are, your gifts and being special just because of being you. Unique you. I again am sorry for your pain. I am glad you posted looking for support. Please post again.

iwanttolive and I am