National Eating Disorders Association

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Alexo_eats
Increasing Meal Plan

Recently I've had to increase my meal plan. My Mom is really pushing me, which has really been stressing me out. I had been doing okay mentally on my last meal plan. But with the new meal plan, my depression and self harm behaviors have gone up. I just feel so anxious and sick when I think about having to eat or more/eating more food. Does anyone have any coping skills or experience with handling these situations?

Alexo

iwanttolive
Alexo_eats

Hi. Increasing on a meal plan is very difficult. I have been there many times. One thing I want to say is that hurting yourself is not going to change the fact that you need to increase your plan. I know it is an escape and a way to deal with emotional pain, but what that is going to possibly do is get you sent to a hospital for safety reasons. I used to self harm and I understand all about it. I also learned that I don't need to act on those behaviors anymore, and now I have no urges to use these behaviors anymore, but I understand. I learned that it may slow things down for a while but eventually we have to deal with the original fear, or painful situation eventually. As you got used to your previous meal plan, in time you should adjust to this new one. Try talking about it, journal, use some self soothing. Also know why the plan was increased. Why it is important to get to a healthy weight so that your body can function as it needs to do. I understand your fears. I understand the discomfort. But one day, you may be able to look back, as I am now, and say, I did it and I am now okay. It takes time. It takes support. It takes people who care to walk this out with you. I hope you have found some friends or family members or a therapist to do this with. You are not alone. Please post when you need to.

iwanttolive

_admin_moderator
Resources

We're sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time right now. Since you mentioned self harm, we just wanted to post up some resources in case you need to speak with someone:  Text "NEDA" to 741-741 or crisistextline.orgSAFE: (800) 366-8288 or selfinjury.com 

Alexo_eats
Meal Plan

Thank you for the support, iwanttolive.

s.boewer
It's hard

It's hard to adjust to a changing meal just as it's hard to adjust to a changing body as you recover, and I relate to your struggle. As the previous post wrote, you will get accustom to this new plan in time and it is important to get your body healthy again. I recently have recovered from restrictive eating/anorexia about 6 months ago, and I really had a hard time getting use to my initial meal plan. It was actually terrifying for me at first, and I wanted to relapse on drug to escape the pain and the reality that I had to get to a healthy weight. For you, self harm is like the drugs were for me, a temporary sense of relief from a nuerochemical release in the brain. It might feel like it works at first, but continuing the self harm, or in my case heroin, will eventually make your brain depleted of the neurochemicals you need to be happy and depression often sets in. It's a vicious cycle and self-defeating, because what you do for relief just creates greater pain. I know it is scary to eat but it is a necessary part of your recovery and you can get through this without self harm. Try writing in a journal as the previous post suggested or listen to music that soothes you while you eat, as that use to help me. Sometimes I watched a funny t.v. show or ate with my family instead of alone. The problem with self harm is that you could accidentally go too far and create a situation that is beyond your control, like ending up at the hospital or being forced to be under a 3 day hold if someone thinks you are suicidal. I tried self harm only three times and when it was discovered by my family I did end up on a suicide hold and it was no fun but I had scared everyone so badly they just did what they thought was safest for me. I know how strong the urge is to self medicate over the fear and anxiety of eating, but you will make it through those emotions and you will feel better and better as you heal. I wish I could say something that would magically fix what you are going through, other than I understand your pain, but unfortunately there is no magic cure other than facing the fear and choosing to recover. I wish you rhe best and hope you post again for support.

Alexo_eats
Hard

Thank you s.boewer! Your really knowledgeable, this post helped me understand the function of my self-harm. I find it difficult to use positive coping skills, but I'll give it a shot!

Alexo