National Eating Disorders Association

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zahndja
Am I Relapsing?

Im new to this site and to seeking help online in general but I feel as though I need to reach out to clear my mind.im not sure if this is the right forum or if this could be triggering so please read with caution.

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa with binge/purge subtype about 4 years ago and have been recovered for about 1.5 years now. I stopped attending regular therapy at the one year mark and now just go in if I feel the need to, which rarely happens as I'm always busy with college and other things.

I gained alot of weight in recovery and when I stopped therapy I was at a healthy size for my height. However, for the months after the binging was out of control. My restrictive tendencies weren't there but the constant need to binge never faded with it.

I went up Jean size and something jn my mind clicked. Now I feel as though I'm becoming too preoccupied with my weight. We don't keep scales in the house but I'm always looking in the mirror and feel awful about my body.

I've also started keeping track of my calorie intake again after a year of not counting. I'm not restricting, just being very cautious and anxious about not eating over the recommended amount.

Could this be a sign of relapse? I'm not sure if I should be worried at this point.

I'm sorry for the whole essay question. I'm just becoming really concerned. Any input would really be appreciated and put my mind at ease.

_admin_moderator
If you need to talk or need

If you need to talk or need access to resources, NEDA can help. If you feel you are in crisis, please contactn helpline 1-800-931-2237, chat at www.myneda.org or text "NEDA" to 741741. You can also contact the Crisit Intervention center - https://cicla.org/

iwanttolive
zahndja

Hello and welcome to the forum. I am glad you reached out for support. Congratulations of one and a half years of recovery. That is really great. But I am sorry to hear of the binging. Sounds like there may still be some things you may need to talk with a therapist about, and now that you are finding yourself counting calories, something you haven't done in a while, it might not hurt to see someone again, to prevent a relapse. If you are concerned enough about it by posting, to me, it says you may want to get some help. There is no shame in this. Admitting the need for help is courageous. It is a brave step to take. It may help a lot and I don't think it would hurt to give it a try. What do you think? You say you are busy with college and other things. Getting help for anything requires sacrifice. You may need to let go of something to make room for weekly therapy sessions or even every other week. Therapy is usually not convenient. But it is usually worth it and worth the sacrifice. I wish you the best and am glad you posted. That was a great first step. Take care,

iwanttolive

acrosstheuniverse
zahndja

I think the calorie counting could be a sign that you are close to a relapse. Best to catch it before it goes too far. Your therapist could help you explore the issue, even if just a few sessions until you get it straightened out. I agree with iwanttolive that it is worth the sacrifice. Surely there is something in your life that is triggering this, or maybe you just need to accept your body at a bigger size. This can be hard but it is only natural for your body to change with your life. It is not a static thing. What is important is not a number on a tag but that you are healthy and content. I know college can be very demanding and stressful, which can amplify all the other stresses in your life. They seem to like to work together. But I know you are strong because you already made it through recovery and maintained for so long. You know how to get better it's just time to take those steps. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. I am rooting for your happiness.

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Shazam
Thanks

I'm glad to hear that you have been in recovery from anorexia nervosa with binge/purge subtype for about 1.5 years now. It's important to acknowledge your progress and the efforts you have made towards your health. It's understandable that you decided to reduce the frequency of therapy sessions, especially if you feel confident in managing your condition independently. I will suggest to read such guides about anorexia nervosa at https://www.thenewsinsides.com

However, it's concerning to hear that the urge to binge has persisted despite the absence of restrictive tendencies. Binge eating can be a challenging aspect of eating disorders, and it's crucial to address it in order to maintain a healthy relationship with food and your body.

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