My best friend is getting married next month. She has struggled with bulimia since high school (we are now in our late 20's) but has been doing well the last few years. Once the wedding started to get closer, her bulimia resurfaced. When I encouraged her to seek help, she refused to go back to the therapist that had helped her before because she said she's too busy with wedding planning and therapy is too expensive. As a result, I've watched her tailspin in an awful cycle for the better part of a year. She has latched on to an online fitness influencer that does a lot of "challenges". Once a month or so, she'll ask me to do a challenge with her. I'm a pretty healthy person these days, I work out regularly and use flexible dieting to stay in good shape, so I can't bring myself to participate in these challenges, but I have always supported her in what she believes will be best for her.
Well, today I just hit a little bit of a breaking point. Her wedding is in just over a month, and she believes that she has to lose a certain amount of weight before the wedding day so she is cutting all sugar, dairy and alcohol (worth noting: these are all the things she binges on) from her diet and forcing herself to do multiple workouts every day. This is not healthy, and I can't stand by and support it. I know that this is just going to result in her going hardcore on this challenge for maybe 3 or 4 days, getting exhausted and stressed, and then having a binge and purging. It's a cycle I know well at this point and I can't bear to see it starting again and just stand by her as she does it. I expressed this concern to her, and practically begged her to focus on moderation and what makes her feel healthy, but she basically told me that her health is something to worry about after the wedding, but right now losing that weight is all that matters. She is very defensive when anyone challenges her on knowing what's best for her health, and I'm worried that not giving her the support she is asking of me may make things a million times worse. At the same time, my conscience is tearing me up about supporting something that I know will just make her condition worse and may end with a hospital visit instead of a happy wedding. I just don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in a similar position? Any suggestions you have will be most welcome. Thanks.
Hello and welcome to the forums esbee. Your post has been edited to remove numbers as some members of the community may find them triggering. Users can find a complete list of forum guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines Thank you and please continue posting.
Ohh I am a lil bit late to reply you, well it's not a good thing to take the stress. Everything is easily available on online stores like dresses, shoes and many more. There are websites where everything is easily available in any size and it's really good that she is very possessive about her health.
Dear ameliaharry654, We are writing to let you know that we removed the outside link you shared in your post. Sharing outside links is not permitted on the forums. Users can find a complete list of forum guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines Thank you and please continue posting.
I understand how this is a helpful response. Eating disorders are not about sizes, weight or food. In my opinion, and since outside links are not allowed, it would be better to talk about what has helped you instead of talking about size or weight. I think in relating to the poster's story, if possible, might be more helpful. I think it's good you want to reach out and help.
The best wedding service provider https://wezoree.com/vendors/all/planners/ is one that recognizes that this is your special day and works to accommodate your wishes. They should be able to convey your wishes and requirements clearly, allowing you to relax and enjoy the festivities while they take care of the details.