Hi everybody,
I have just been informed by my mom that my younger sister (she's 18) is suffering from an eating disorder, she severely limits her food intake and has been isolating herself from her friends and what not. i do not live at home with my family so I have not actually experienced this first hand, however my sister is coming to visit me for 10 days starting next week and I am really worried about how to help her. I want my living environment to be as comfortable for her as possible and I don't want her to feel any pressure from me during meal times, however I will likely be doing most of the cooking. I also live in a very unique food-hub so prior to my knowledge of her ED I had booked a few reservations at neat little places for us.
Basically I am just wondering what I can do to best support her and if I should keep these restaurant reservations, etc etc. I am totally out of my league in dealing with this so any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Thank you so much
Wed, 08/01/2018 - 11:49pm
#1
little sister coming to visit
Hi. It is kind of you to be wondering how to best help your sister. I am sorry she is suffering. Maybe if you read on NEDA web site on the information pages about how to help loved ones, and just familiarize yourself a little on eating disorders in general before she comes that will help you some. Also, don't be afraid to ask your sister what she is comfortable with. Ask her if she wants to eat out or not. I wouldn't cater to her every desire if she isn't eating much. I would try to be as normal around food as you usually are and then ask her if she wants anything in addition to what you have already planned. She may be anxious about the whole food deal with three meals a day. But I would still plan for the three meals. If she chooses not to eat and wants to excuse herself I wouldn't try to convince her beyond an Are you sure? and then leave it at that. That is just my suggestion. Someone else may think differently. I wouldn't mention anything about how she looks. Like you look good or something along those lines. Say something about what she is wearing or her hair or something neutral. Ask questions that don't revolve around the eating disorder unless she brings it up. Ask how school is going, what she is doing with her summer, work, those kinds of things. If she wants to discuss the eating disorder and she feels you are open to talking with her, she very well may. Ask her if you can ask her questions. Let her be in control of the whole eating disorder stuff. I would make yourself available to her but wouldn't try to pry or push her to talk if she isn't ready. Meal times may be awkward, but try to be calm and as easy going as you can. Since you don't know much about where she is at it makes it a little more challenging. I hope this helps you some. Just be her sister. Treat her as you always did. Ten days is a long time. Post here as you need and let us know how things are going. I didn't see your post before today, Sunday. So sorry for the delay. I wish you the best. It is good to see how you care about your sister and want her to be comfortable. Take care,
iwanttolive