National Eating Disorders Association

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girlfriend with bulimia

Hello im new to the forums. Im here today to get help and advice to help my girlfriend. She is suffering from bulimia and has been suffering for quite a while now and has been in treatment before and is currently in therapy for ed. She has been wanting to purge a lot lately and i really want to help her. Shes 16 years old and i dont want to see her relapsing anymore. If you could leave some tips and advice and things i can do to help her, i would really appreciate it. Thank you.


Hey Adrian,

No kidding, it can be hard to know exactly how to support someone in a situation like this. As guys, we'd like to somehow "fix" things for them, or otherwise rescue them from their situation, but on the other hand, it's kind of their journey. So yes, it can be hard to know how to approach things, that's for sure.

A lot of it will have to do with what stage of her ED she is in. If she's done treatment before, and is doing therapy now, she's probably getting pretty tired of her ED, even if she finds herself still going back to it. So letting her know that you understand how frustrating that probably is for her, that's something that will probably help.

This may sounds silly, but you might actually ask her how you could best help. From a psychological and just generally every-day supportive aspect I mean. She may just tell you there's nothing you can do, but if she feels safe enough with you, even just having someone to share her feelings with can really help.

Doing some study about EDs yourself can help too. Being able to "get it" about what sorts of thoughts and feeling they find themselves up against can help you feel a little more secure too. So taking a look at the various information pages here and at other sites is probably worth doing.

It's a big topic for sure, so I hope you can keep posting as time goes on. Your GF is fortunate to have a caring friend like you.


Dont be a co-dependent

Dont treatherout todinner during active phase of ED.

Dont pacify her attitude after purging

Give her lots of space

Encourage healthy eating but most of all keeping in touch w/ her family and therapist.

Girlfriend with ED - wants to be alone at the moment

i tried writing something here before but was a little too emotional and so deleted my post.
I'm back to try again.

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years. Last month my she told me that she was bulimic. I knew about her lows, social anxiety and difficulties with depression. In fact we discussed all this because i have my own difficulties too and we have connected through these life problems (plus other things we have in common too of course) and became a tight unit.
After meeting up one evening, i could tell she wasn't feeling good, so i suggested i go home and let her be alone, i know she needs space at times. After this meet up, i herd very little from her. She went away with a friend for the weekend and i didn't understand why she suddenly stopped speaking to me. After asking her what was happening, she told me about her ED via text and mentioned she had been feeling the alarm bells for a little while and didn't want to be around anyone for a while. Since then, we have met up once to help move some things before she went home for the summer.
She has said that she wants to be away from everything at the moment, and our contact has been very minimal. It's been quite a difficult period, suddenly having to get used to not talking to and seeing her so often. I love her deeply and i just want to support/be there for her. I have been exercising patience and have only text her infrequently to say hello and so forth. I sent her flowers last week from me and my cat. She replies occasionally, which is nice to hear.
I guess what i'm asking for is advice, when a partner seemingly just drops away. She has said about needing space and about how she's being selfish. I don't judge her and i certainly don't think of her being selfish. But without knowing more or hearing from her very often, i just need some guidance on getting on with things whilst she's away and needing space. I read as much info as I can regarding the subject, but by not speaking to any one else about this, it's been difficult to bottle up my emotions alone. I feel selfish for wanting to know more and wanting her to confide in me, but I know she must be in a very hard place right now and I can understand how from her point of view, she feels a burden.
I would love to talk to her when she's ready, but obviously there is no time limit to these things.
Please, any help and advice would be great, as I would not want to lose such a creative and wonderful person.
Thank you for listening.

Robert H. : Withdrawing.


( I started another thread to reply to your post, so that you'll be sure to see it. )