National Eating Disorders Association

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Hi, I am sorry for posting some negative things this month. I am having a birthday party for my 50th. I do not really want a party but my Mom really wants to make this a big celebration and I don't want to disappoint her. I saw the list of people that are invited but didn't look at it too closely. I was close enough to see that my one sister who lives near by is NOT coming. No surprise to me. But it does help.

Then issues with my sister living with me. She doesn't contribute to the household expenses. My other roommate and I want to get the carpets cleaned before we decide to rip the carpet off and underneath is a hardwood floor. She won't be participating in helping to pay to get the carpets clean. I was told I was wrong to ask her because it will just divide us more. She has been more civil lately but I am not happy that she can do whatever she wants or not do anything she wants. This is causing me to want to act on behaviors after having been free from thoughts and behaviors for so many months. My depression is increasing, and I am tired of being told how what I do that is different from what she does is wrong. This even goes down to face cream. " I would never use that" or "I don't like that particular food" to why do you do this or that. I will end here. Thank you for listening. I am trying to get in touch with my therapist.

Happy birthday!

I'm sorry things are stressful. I think it's a good idea to seek out your therapist. Try to enjoy the party.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR, CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE! :) I empathize with your frustration. However it’s important to accept the fact that more times than not, the actions of others are not in our control. The only thing in this world that we have total control and freedom of, is how we react to others and our thoughts. Do not let your frustration trigger your old and undesired behaviors. Instead, I would practice gratitude over the fact that it seems you and your sister are both trying to get along. It’s great that you live with a sibling, this is a unique opportunity that not many get to enjoy later in life. Furthermore, it seems your sister cannot afford the household expenses and that you are the main breadwinner. Practicing gratitude over having the ability to support your sister through a tough financial time might also help avoid these feelings of frustration. Perhaps you can also kindly remind your sister to stop being critical towards you or comparing each other as this will only cause bitterness and you are both your own person. Another strategy, in terms of the party details, pleasing your mom, the attendee list, etc. Would be to not overthink it. Let it be, take a deep breath and let it all go. What is the worst than can happen? You are more in control of your happiness than you believe. I believe in you, keep pushing forward towards recovery and taking control of your actions, thoughts, and life. The circumstances around you will continue, but only you can control and change your reaction and thoughts towards these circumstances in order to live a happier life.


Hi!!! Thank you for your kind response. There is a lot of history with my sister. We all pay rent, to my father who owns the house. I do indeed do not want to use behaviors and I haven't really. I have made too much forward movement. I pray to Jesus to help me to stay strong. Sounds like you might know Him? Without Jesus I would not be alive. My sisters have not been much support so it isn't shocking that my one sister isn't coming. My other sister is trying. So for that I am thankful. How are you? Thank you again.

Happy 50th!

First, I want to wish you a very happy birthday. You have every right to be frustrated by your sister's actions. I also emphasize with having thoughts when you have been going on so long without them. Try to look at what is causing these feeling to want to act and address them. It sounds like you all may have differences, but she's your sister. Maybe talking with her about comparisons and how it makes you feel will help. She may not even realize she's doing it.
I hope you the best! -KayLeigh


Happy birthday. Hugs.

I don't have much to offer

I don't have much to offer but Happy Birthday and I know it is hard with family mind is very well different but difficult in its own way so I understand and I am sorry you have to go through all that. I hope you can enjoy your birthday and yay for not acting on behaviors that's something to be proud of.