It was only once I recovered from my eating disorder that I began to understand its gravity. I kept some journal entries, various gems left to be uncovered in the margins of my planner, nuggets of wisdom to be siphoned from my notes app of those years. I was in college, but it probably started before that. It’s no coincidence that I don’t actually know what came first: my eating disorder or my queer awakening. I revisited those archives: the journal entries, notes, nuggets, and scrawls, and tied them together into this list.