National Eating Disorders Association

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Laurencannon
Relapse

I need help. I've been suffering from Bulimia Nervosa for about a year and a half and I've been in recovery for 6 months now. I was purge-free for almost 5 months when I relapsed a few weeks ago. I'm having trouble finding the motivation to get back on track with my recovery. I've had a lot of triggers recently and I know for a fact that I am slipping. I guess I'm just having trouble wanting to stop purging. It's such an addiction for me and I just don't know what to do. I just need someone to tell me that I'm worth recovery because I honestly don't believe it at all. I have no hope for myself and I am so stuck right now. I'm torn between my eating disorder and recovery. I don't know what to do anymore.

eghall
You ARE Worthy!

Hi Laurencannon -

It sounds like your eating disorder is really struggling to hang on - it knows that you are getting back in control of your life, so it fights hard to hold on. This is absolutely normal during recovery! And you are definitely WORTHY of recovery and an ED-free life. Don't let your eating disorder let you feel otherwise. Have you spoken with anyone, either loved ones or a treatment team member, about what is going on? It may be helpful to do so, and it may help you realize that others see your self-worth even when you can't.

Here are some resources for you that I hope helps:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/life-during-recovery-questions-as...
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/slips-lapses-and-relapses
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/recovery

Don't give up on yourself! You are an important part of this world and you deserve to life your life fully!

Don't give up!

I know what you are going through. I am struggling myself, but I have been struggling since I was nine and now am 36. Find someone to talk too. I was never given the chance to talk to someone. I guess, now that I am this age, I should probably get on the ball and find someone. I don't wish for you to have to go through what I have been through. Please, find someone you can talk too and keep working on it. Take it one day at a time and keep a sign on your mirror and refrigerator that helps you remember that you are worth more than what you believe. Read this scripture:
1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. You can make it through this and if you need someone just to email to talk, please email me. I can be a soundboard and trust me, I have been through more than just the purging part. I hope you get the help you need, so you won't ever have to look like me. I have two front teeth that I have to get pulled because of the acid eroding my teeth from purging. I have a horrible smile and hopefully, after this Wednesday, I will have a better smile and it will help me to realize that if I want to keep that smile, not to purge. You don't give up on yourself!!! You are worth more than what you think, and that circus mirror you look into~ is not the true you!

lmichelsND
I relapsed many times before

I relapsed many times before I finally found recovery. It's like the ED feels itself losing control and starts to fight its way back into your life. They say that relapse is a normal part of recovery, so the first step is, don't get down on yourself for relapsing. It happens. Then try to remember the reasons you started recovery in the first place, and hang on to those motivations that you had before. Maybe it will help to write down some of the reasons that you chose recovery, as a reminder for yourself. And like others have said, talk to someone. I hope you have a support system you can turn to while you're struggling, so you can turn to them now and use their support to help you get back on track.