National Eating Disorders Association

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Bulimic and depressed

I'm bulimic. I also struggle with general anxiety, social anxiety, major depressive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and gender dysphoria. I take pills for that stuff but I make myself throw up so I don't think my body absorbs them. No one knows I'm bulimic.

re: Bulimic and depressed

Hey bulimic--welcome to the forums. You've come to the right place to seek help about your eating disorder. I'm so sorry you're struggling. Those of us with EDs often have dual diagnoses such as the other mental health issues you mention, so I know plenty of people here on this forum can relate.

I also understand how painful gender dysphoria can be--my current partner had to deal with a lot of dysmorphic thoughts about her body over the course of her journey to figure out what gender identity felt best for her, and as an ED survivor myself, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to work through those two overlapping layers at the same time. I just wanted to let you know this is a genderqueer- and trans-friendly space and we're here to support you.

Next, I wanted to ask a few questions so I can understand your situation a little better. How long have you been struggling with these issues? Did anything in particular make you feel like it's time to seek help on these forums? Since you're on medication for your other mental health issues, am I correct in assuming that you see a therapist, or at least a psychiatrist? Have you been able to confide in these professionals about your ED behaviors? I'm sure you're right that purging isn't allowing your medication to work to its full potential. Is there anyone else in your life--friend, family member, partner, etc.--who you've considered confiding in about your ED? Does anyone in your personal life know about your other mental health issues?

Sorry, tons of questions, I know! Just trying to get a better feel so we can provide the best support possible here on the forums. At the very least, please know you're not alone, and keep us posted on what's going on with you.