Eating disorders have always played a central role in my life. For so many years, an eating disorder dominated my every thought and feeling. No matter what I did or where I went, it accompanied me like an unwanted shadow, turning every life event into a battle against food and my body. I longed for the day when my mind would be free from the struggle, when my relationship with food could be sustainably controlled, when my body would finally look like I always wanted it to and when I could be sure it would stay that way forever.