National Eating Disorders Association

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Would like a parents view point

Hello, I realize that this forum is more for the parents of those suffering from Eating Disorders, but I have received great tips and support through the NEDA site, so I thought I would come back here to get advice on something that I have been struggling with, and would love to see the parents side.

I am currently struggling with how to tell my mother about my ED.

A little background about me, I am a 23 year old female currently In college ( living away from home). I developed an ED as my way to cope with stress and needing to feel in control. A family member pointed out to me that I had put on a noticeable amount of weight since seeing me a few months prior during my fathers funeral. He wasn't saying anything that I didn't already know, but somewhere my innocent attempt to lose the weight I put on during the year my father passed away, my workouts were excessive and it was an obsession, fueled by the compliments my friends and family gave as I lost weight. "Wow you look good" etc.
It became exhausting and I finally took the advice of friends to go talk to someone. I was required to go to the doctors to make sure I was medically stable before I could begin counseling, and the doctor put ED on my medical records.

I never lost enough weight that I was considered underweight, and I was still in the "general weight range" , so it was never noticeable to my mother other than I lost weight from making changes.
I feel like I'm living a double life because I am able to have my own schedule and routine while at school but I have to pretend that eating out and weight comments don't bother when I am home.

My question to parents with children suffering is how do I approach the topic of ED with my mother? As parents, was there a way you wished you would have found out? Do's and Don'ts?
Because I haven't been fully "in" my ED for a while is it still worth bringing up? I know it will always be there and with the "perfect storm" of triggers and stressors I may fall back but I may not so should I even say anything?

I wish everyone the best!

I am new here, but acquainted

I am new here, but acquainted with my daughter's ED for over a year. She is younger than you, but I think our experience can help you. If you have a therapist at school, it would be very wise to have your mom join you for a session. It is not always convenient for parents to visit during the week, but maybe you can explain that it is a family matter. It really is a family matter and you must enlist an ally that is as important as your mom. Our family work has been some of the most helpful, and not just for ED or my daughter. It has helped all of us to lay off the judgey stuff we do to others and ourselves. Good luck!