National Eating Disorders Association

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Wife's Rocky Recovery

Hello everyone.

New here. Just wanted to reach out and get some ideas/opinions/advice from the community on this site about what's happening with us at the moment.

Here's the history. My wife had anorexia when she was young (about 10-11 years old). After being told she needed to sort it out or possibly lose her life, her parents administered some tough love and managed to bring her through. This, however, flipped her over to bulimia. She was bulimic when we stared going out (she was 18 at the time) and I have been able to help her over the last 7 years and, within the first 3 years, have succeeded where the professionals have failed in bringing her out of the physical manifestations of ED.

Now we are trying to cope with the emotional remnants of the disorder. We have had many ups and downs over the last few years with different things tried and failed.

Over the last few months she has put on some weight. She still looks stunningly beautiful and, to be honest, I don't think anyone has noticed! However, she feels very negatively about this. She feels fat and ugly and is, by reflex rather than concious effort, resistant to intimacy. She is bottling up emotions which become too much and result in tumultuous hour-long crying sessions.

I love my wife and nothing will ever change this. However it is very difficult to know what to do to help her through this. Hopefully, she will get through this difficult stage and emerge much happier and healthier on the other side. I wonder if anyone reading this has had similar experiences or has any suggestions or advice. Sadly, we are not very well off and cannot afford to see a counsellor etc.

All comments and questions welcome.

Hope = Hold on, pain ends.

Hi there!! Thank you so much for your post! I hope that I can be of some help and support!

First of all, I think it is wonderful that you and your wife have been able to fight the ED together. You truly do love her and are an amazing support for her!

I am sorry to hear that you don't think you can see a therapist do to financial situations. However, there are a lot of great counselors who offer something called a "sliding scale" where the payment is based on your income. I think that it is always a great resource to see a therapist, even if it's biweekly or monthly. A therapist would definitely provide guidance and support for both of you! If you are interested to learn more about therapists in your area who may offer sliding scale services, I highly suggest calling the NEDA Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. A representative will be there to help!!

Another great resource that is free is the NEDA Navigator program! It connects you with a trained volunteer who has experience recovering from an ED. They are always supportive and seek to help! If you'd like to learn more or even request to have a Navigator, here is a link!

Both are you a so strong!! I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any questions!