National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
why?

Hi All, I am sorry and saddened by your suffering and all that you are all going though. I sent a post out last night and lost it and gave up on it. So this is my second go. My question is this: why hasn't anyone been listening to me when I have been saying for half a year that I have been dizzy, falling over when putting my shoes or pants on, or when I am in a bent position helping a client, bathing them, losing my balance, even falling into them catching myself by the commode. That my gait is off, that my blood pressure is low. Why did it take a horrific accident, where a hole is actually in the middle of my license plate? It is only by the grace of God that I survived and walked out of my car. But why wasn't I taken seriously? It is my second serious accident in four months. I see my neurologist this week my cardiologist is running several tests, and my psychiatrist tomorrow. I may loose my driving privileges. I do not know how I will deal with that. I need my car for work. My parents can not keep driving me. My parents tell me I walk funny. I know my gait is off mostly do to pain, but I wonder if something else is going on. I am scared.
I am still behavior free although at times I want to self harm, I really do. But I look at the months I have come and can't bring myself to do anything.

I hope you are striving and working hard but not being hard on yourselves. Take care.

iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
I am so sorry

About what's been going on. You're right: someone should have heard your cries for help. You are strong and resilient. I hope you don't mind me saying, but after everything I've gone through, I can say GOD has a purpose for the things that are painful. I'm sorry you weren't heard. If it helps, you are heard here and GOD has heard you. Praying for you.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Thanl you so much. I want you to know the same thing. It is good to hear though. I took pictures of the car today and and can't believe I walked out of itv

Thank you for your prayers. I covet them. Thank you again.

Savedbygrace
You're so welcome.

:-).

lovetowrite81
Iwanttolive

Hi Iwanttolive,

Just want to check in & see how you have been doing the past few days? Thinking of you. It must be painful to look back and recognize that no one intervened when you really needed them to. I can assure you that God has been there through every step of the way. So thankful that we serve a God who sees- all of the hurt and frustration & tells us that we can cast all of our burdens on Him. You are so strong. Praise God for delivering you and keeping you safe through the accident. <3 Please keep us posted.

iwanttolive
lovetowrite81

Hi. Hope you are doing well. Thank you for kind response. I am thankful God is always by my side and protected me from serious harm. I have a lot of doctors to ho to to figure out what is happening with my brain and low blood pressure. It is serious now.

I am officially discharged from my dietician which is sad because she has been a huge support and like a friend but also shows growth anf and healing with my ED.
Gotta go. Thanks again

lovetowrite81
Iwanttolive

Definitely keep us posted as you continue to figure out what's going on with your physical health. I can definitely see how that would be sad to be discharged from your dietitian, but you are right-- that shows so much progress in your recovery journey. So proud of you for your commitment to you recovery and perseverance <3