National Eating Disorders Association

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halleyadriana
Where Do I Go

They say the hardest part of trying to recover is when you're not sure you want to recover and that couldn't be any more true. I use to have reasons to recover, hope in the future, family and so much more. All those reasons slowly faded, and I truly believe that no one cares if I recover, hell they don't even care if I eat. I never did this for anyone but me, but recovery I did that for others because I haven't found a reason to recover for me. That's where the feeling like no one cares part comes in, why care about me when others don't. I'm scared a lot and I know this is so wrong, but I can't stop. I went to counseling but it didn't work so I'm back to square one. I have been told that it's up t me, just eat, oh if they only knew what it was like inside my head. I'm so exhausted. I don't know what to do anymore.

Catlady09
Halleyadriana

Hi Halleyadriana,

I'm glad you reached out on the forums today. Recovery, unfortunately, is not a linear path. It has many challenges, and we can face many setbacks in it as well. However, recovery is possible, and it is so worth it.

Have you considered trying a different therapist, or perhaps a different form of therapy? There are tons of methods, I can't even list them all here. There isn't one method or one path that works for everyone, and you may benefit from a different therapist or different approach. I want to encourage you to reach out to the NEDA helpline at 1-800-931-2237. They are available Monday-Thursday 9AM-9PM and Friday 9AM-5PM. The volunteers there are trained to help, and they may be able to point you in the direction of specific resources in your area.

I know how hard it is to hear "just eat", as if it were that easy. To an outsider, it seems like the simple answer, when that is the farthest from reality. Do you have a trusted friend or family member you can talk to? Also, is it easier for you to try and follow a meal plan during this time?

Take care,
Catlady09

lovetowrite81
Halleyadriana

Hi Halleyadriana,

Thank you for posting here. I am sorry that you have been struggling so much. No matter what the circumstances are in your life right now, I can assure you that people do care about you and care if you recover. We certainly care about you here. I know how difficult it must be to not be grounded in a reason to recover for yourself- I can give you one reason even if you can't believe it right now: You are wonderfully created, here for a purpose, and deserve to be healthy & thriving. It is much easier said than deeply believed, but I hope that you will begin to come into this truth in time. And "just eating" is never the answer. Having this illness is not your fault- you did not choose it.

I'm sorry that your counseling experience hasn't been effective. Are there any options for other therapists you could see? I agree with Catlady's suggestion to check out the NEDA Helpline for options in your area. I know it is so hard to want to reach out to these resources when the motivation to recover is not there right now. Be gentle with yourself where you are at, continue to post here. Know that we care for you and are here for you. No matter the distress of right now, there is always hope for the future.

Keep us posted <3 I will be thinking of you.

-Lovetowrite81