National Eating Disorders Association

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Persephone
Unsure

I've got a lot of issues with myself, as of right now I've been dealing with a break-up to my first true love, I'm overwhelmed at school, I have a lot of anger and emotional issues, and for some reason I take it out on me by refusing to eat. Every now and then I try to force myself to eat. Normally, I can only get through little to maybe half of my meal before I feel like I have to throw it back out. I have yet to vomit, but the pain is unbearable. I've done this every now and then and I'm not sure why I have the need to take out my frustrations by not eating.

I heard that many seek to food to relieve the pain, and I am very picky about gaining weight. I like to be small, however, being of low weight for a 5'3, 22-year-old woman, that's not healthy at all. I don't like that I can start seeing my skeleton more than ever, I don't like that I can feel my organs pulse more than before. I don't know what this is, and I was wondering if maybe someone could help me out. I am seeking therapy, but it isn't for this, it's for another issue that I am dealing with. I just need some help before something terrible strikes me. Thank you.

eghall
Life can be overwhelming, but don't give up

Hi-

It's amazing how many eating disorders start with the onset of strong emotions, like heartache and anger. When our lives feel out of control, we tend to try to find control elsewhere, like with food. I am proud of you for coming on here to find some help. Have you thought about talking to your therapist about this specific situation? If you don't want to bring it up with your current therapist, you can find therapists who specialize in eating disorders here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-treatment

Although it is important to deal with your battle with food, it's helpful to address what is behind the battle as well (stress, the breakup, etc.). Have you talked with any friends or family about what you are going through? Another 'first step' option may be just going to your primary care doctor about some of the things you physically discussed above.

I can tell you are dealing with a lot of pain right now and I know it can be so overwhelming. However, I truly believe in you. I can hear your desire to get help and that desire will help you get to where you need to be, both mentally and physically. I hope this helps!