National Eating Disorders Association

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Daisy20
treatment

Hi all,

I got anorexia last year. My parents noticed that something was wrong with me, that I lost so much weight, so they put me in hospital. I gained weight there, everything is okey now. When I look at myself I see that I look much better, basically there is nothing to compare. I'm actually happy. I eat and could say I enjoy eating. The thing is that sometimes I don't even know if I really want to be that healthy as I'm now, I doubt, perhaps I should live with ED forever.... When I start thinking about it, I catch myself and say: ''Stop, ED is not your friend, you have to live your own life, be healthy and happy'', but at the same time I feel that anorexia has become my ''friend''. I've been with it for quite a long time and I was quite happy when I was so thin. There are some minutes, when I miss my old weight, when I felt as light as a feather. Moreover, I was under surveillance and it made me feel that I could be important to someone,even though I've always been surrounded by people, my family and actually, never felt that I am alone.

Something about me: I'm 20, I am a student,(far away from home - this actually caused anorexia).

If someone of you feel the way I feel, let me know, it would be great to share our stories and hopefully, help each other.

Take care,

enjoy your life!

eghall
I can totally relate!

Hi Daisy20!

First of all, let me congratulate you on how far you have come! It's so inspiring. I cannot tell you how much I can relate to what you say. When I first got through treatment and was on the road to an ED-free life, I really missed my ED. It was like mourning the loss of a friend (I use that term lightly here), in a way. We live with our ED's so long that they become a source of comfort - it's just important to remember that it is a FALSE sense of comfort. After the mourning period is over, hopefully you will feel a happiness and freedom that ED could never provide! It sounds like you are really on the right track and I love that you tell yourself that ED is NOT your friend. One of my favorite things to say to myself is "Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend". Keep up the amazing progress!!!