National Eating Disorders Association

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julesthefox
Therapy cat

I've had my cat for years. She's my everything. No matter what happened; how low I felt in a day, how anxious or lonely I was, I could always count on her to be there. She cuddled up and licked my face when I was upset, loved my attention, and snuggled up with me every night. She was my everything.
Now she's gone. It wasn't some old age thing that we saw coming. It was a sudden onslaught of unknown origin. For no reason the vets could find, she had started throwing blood clots. Everywhere. They put her on oxygen so she could be comfortable when she passed. I am glad she is out of pain, but I am broken.
I don't know what to do. My panic has increased ten fold and my depression even more so, both feeding ED. Nothing seems to be going right, and I can hardly even sleep.
I know I'll want to get another cat, I know I need another cat, but I don't feel ready. What can someone do when they've lost a service animal and overall best friend?

Shiyon
Sorry for that

You should get another cat and let the other one remain in your heart and memories. :)

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. I am so sorry for the unexpected death of your friend, your cat. In my experience, which have been several, I chose to get a puppy after the deaths of my dods and puppy. I will pray for you and know you will pick out the kitten that you need and the kitten that needs you. It is very painful. How are you doing?

iwanttolive

julesthefox
thank you for your support

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot that you take time out of your day to respond to me. I see how active you are on this forum, and you are a beautiful source of inspiration and support to all. It really means the world.
I'm...not doing well. I'm trying not to engage in restricting behaviors, but my anxiety and depression are out of control. I'm just so sad, broken, and alone. I don't have my best friend, my soul support, my baby girl. It feels so empty without her. I don't know what to do. I've been so stressed, I've barely been sleeping, and I'm sad and fatigued all the time. I have even engaged in my tendency to delay eating because it gives me that control, that high. Fortunately, I haven't ended up restricting, but I do delay eating until much, much later. I just don't feel I can handle anything right now, and I can't focus. Classes are hard, and with all that's going on, I've gotten sick now too. I just miss her so much...if I could just hold her... She gave me so much love and care...
It's hard too, because I know I want another cat. I know I will NEED another cat. But right now...I am so scared. I'm scared because I know it will be different and developing a new relationship takes time. I don't want to get discouraged and end up worse than I already am. I just want my baby back...
I hope you are doing well and things are going better with your family. You are so strong and amazing. Thank you again for all your kindness and support. I really need it right now...
Love and hugs,
Julesthefox

spaceyandsweet82
I am so sorry about your cat.

I am so sorry about your cat. I sure can relate. I've had a cat who was like my child since my teen years to adult years and we've had to put her to sleep health reasons all of a sudden took a toll on her. I was at a lost because she was my best friend and therapy for all reasons and I wasn't ready for a long time to get another cat until I found one who isn't going to replace the last but sure melts my heart because she is special to me too. Just know we're here and I know how painful it is but keep them happy memories you two had and your heart will know when the time is right to adopt another kitty to grow with. You will know this kitty will be the right one for you. Just give yourself time to heal.

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. I have memory problems so I don't know if I have asked you this before. Do you believe in Jesus? He is the only One who will NEVER leave you. Giving your life to Jesus and having Him be your Savior really is the only way to have the emptiness in your heart go away. Jesus won't go away. I won't say your pain from the death of your "friend" disappear. He can help though. That is how I am able to share as I do. I am by no means perfect. I fall down but He helps me to stand up again.

Your pain is totally understandable. If you didn't feel pain that would not be a good thing. But you are feeling. That is a good thing.
Your symptoms and urges are also understandable. That is what eating disorders do. It tries to keep you from feeling. I think you are doing a good job and doing your best. Don't be hard on yourself. Can you try to ask Jesus to help you, to comfort your heart. He is willing and waiting.

Thank you for your kind words to me. I really want to come along side of those still suffering and to offer Hope
To let others know recovery is possible.

I hope this helps. I will pray for you tonight.

iwanttolive

iwanttolive
julesthefox

<p>Hi... Just wondering how you are doing? &nbsp; I know how difficult it is.&nbsp; Have you been able to remain safe and keep to your meal plan? &nbsp;</p><p>I just want to let you know you are not alone. Please let us know how you are doing iwanttolive<

Michele3
I'm sorry

I know exactly what you are going though. Although, it's been years since I had to put my cat down but she was the same therapy for me as yours was to you. What I did to help with the pain: I got a shoe box and put pictures of her in it. I also put her favorite toys in there, and her collar. When I was feeling stressed and anxious, I would look at everything in the box. And yes, sometimes I would even talk to her. Eventually I got to a point that I was able to get another cat and he is a lot like my baby girl. He knows when I'm feeling upset even if I'm not crying. I think he also reads my mind sometimes too. On days in my head when I feel like I can't move out of bed, let alone eat that day, he brings me his full food dish and lays by me. I was meant to have him at the perfect time. Hang in there. You can do this. I hope this helped!

London1621
Hugs

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you will be soon. Please try to take care of yourself. Lots of Hugs to help you.

julesthefox
Thank you all for your kind

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It's people like you that help me keep going when times get tough like this.
I'm still hurting, and I'm sure I will be for a while. I've been having to take my anxiety meds more frequently, but hopefully I'll be able to taper off a bit again soon. I've been trying to adhere to my meal plan and listen to my dietician, but it's so hard, especially when I'm down like this. I'm trying to get my brain in control. My therapist brought up something interesting; when we listen to our EDs, we're not using our higher level thinking. I think that's very true. It can be so difficult to silence the voices. We have to always be vigilant to know when they mean us harm. I am trying to fight that now....
Some days are better than others. I have also been going to shelters and rescues just to spend time with animals. Maybe someday, one will choose me. It won't be the same, but it's not supposed to be. Maybe one will need my love and love me again...
Thank you all again, lots of love and be kind to yourselves; you are all beautiful
Julesthefox

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. How are you doing? It is interesting in that a woman from my Bible study lost her cat in a traumatic way. She was a mess, as you can understand. She went looking for her new cat and particular breed. On the web site she was grey. But after two and a half of driving to pick her up, she looked just like her pet that passed. She was like.....UGh, this isn't the same cat on the web, but she brought her home anyways. God knew what He was doing. Bringing this sweet cat to her. She fit right in with the rest of us at the Bible study.

So, I say this to offer you encouragement that there is the perfect pet out there for you.

I hope and pray you are able to take care of yourself during this most difficult time. Take care, iwanttolive

julesthefox
Thank you

It means so much when you reach out on the forums and ask how I'm doing. It shows me that there are people who really do care. Thank you.
Did you say the cat came to your bible study? I miss having a cat so much. Not only did I love her more than anything, she also was always there for me. Whenever I was anxious, upset, depressed, or just lonely, she was there. She got me through so much.
That's why I know I'll need another cat, but it's so hard because I know that nothing can ever take her place in my heart. And I'm not looking for that; I'm looking for new love. But it's hard not to think of her...
If I were to look into getting another cat, do you have any suggestions? I want to give my love to another fur baby, but I don't want to be held back by my broken heart.
Thanks again. I hope things are going better for you and your sister. Maybe we can both find the love and connection we need somehow soon <3
Julesthefox

kayleigh91
Sorry for your loss.

Hey Julesthefox!

I am so sorry for your loss! I love cats so much and can definitely relate to what you are feeling. When I was younger, I lost my cat, who was only 2, for unknown reasons. Animals are such a great way to relax an unwind. I love going home to my cat after school and just snuggling with him. Without words, he seems to understand that I need him, and won't judge me if I'm crying. You are so lucky to have had such valuable time with what sounds like a wonderful pet. I think even if you aren't ready, you could go to a pet store and maybe play with the kittens there until you fall in love with another pet. Also, maybe google "cat cafes near me." We have one where I live, and it's literally a place where they have about 20 cats just running around for you to play with.

Hope all is well with you!!

Also, have faith in your DIETITIAN! She knows what she's doing!

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi. Thank you for your kind words. A lady who hosts a Bible study had a cat that died tragically. It was Himalayan I think.Very gentle and furry. She went to Pennsylvania to get her.
I know how much it hurts to lose a pet. They are comforting as you say and it sounds like you had such a special bond with him/her.

I do care about you guys/gals here on the forum. It is amazing what God brought me through and now I am in a place where I can reach out to others. I still post when having a difficult time but remain symptom free for almost eight months. All the glory goes to God, for without Him, I wouldn't be here.

So when you are ready, the kitten you are looking for will be just the right one for the both of you. I will pray that you get one that responds with love towards you and that comforts you. You are not betraying your other cat. I felt that way when I got a puppy very quickly after my dog died. It is taking care of yourself. Keep us posted on when you start looking.

With love, iwanttolive

iwanttolive
Julesthefox

HI. Just checking in to see how things are going? How is your anxiety? We're you able to gets kitten or cat? How have you been feeling? I hope you are doing ok.

iwanttolive

julesthefox
Thank you for checking in.

Thank you for checking in. It means so much to me. It makes me feel like there are people out there who really do care. I have been really up and down. I've been looking at kittens. I'm hoping to get one that's a lot different than my previous cat so I won't try to compare and get more heartbroken. I actually have been looking at one in a local shelter. I'll visit soon and see if we connect... going through all this has been really hard, and it's been even harder with school...but I'm trying. I'm still trying. Sometimes you have to take steps back to keep moving forward. I just hope I'll be able to again soon.
Take care,
Lots of love,
Julesthefox

iwanttolive
Julesthefox

Hi. I am glad to hear from you. Your desire to move forward tells me that you will. It starts with the desire. That is so important. As for your search, I believe you will know just what kitten/cat is the right one. You are doing a good job.

chunkymonkey68
So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty cat

I recently lost mine to several old age related cat problems. I also had to bring him to a vet on a Sunday and drove all over town in a town not even familiar with. In the end they could not help and chose the best treatment was euthanasia.

I held my kitty in my arms as they gave him a sedating shot that put him at rest to never another day of suffering or nerve paralysis or kitty cancer.

They scattered his ashes in a special burial ground for animals and sent me a special service card a week later.

God i know how you feel. He was everything to me. he was a little punk batting his paws on the gutters outside my bedroom window at night to get my attn to let him in at night. And ran circles round me indoors when he wanted to go out n play too.

Good luck and allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to.

London1621
Hi

I wanted to stop by and send you Hugs to help you be ok.

julesthefox
Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your support. I am trying. Sometimes, that's the best I can do, but I'm trying. Hugs in return. I hope you're doing well.
Lots of love,
Julesthefox

iwanttolive
julesthefox

Hi there, just checking in to see how you are doing? How's it going volunteering at the animal shelter? Did you get a new kitty? I just wanted to touch base and see things are going. Take care,
iwanttolive

julesthefox
I don't know how to thank you

I don't know how to thank you enough for all your kindness and continued support. I've been really down on myself, but it really helped make it bearable knowing you're thinking of me and someone actually cares...thank you. I hope you are well.
Actually, I think I did find a kitten. It's hard because I know it will never be the same, but I'm trying to see that as a good thing. My cat before was amazing, but that doesn't mean another one can't be. It'll be different, yes, but different isn't always bad. So far, she's been adjusting pretty well. She's already starting to connect with and love me. When I first saw her at the shelter and asked to pick her up, she immediately started purring and snuggling me; she didn't want to leave my arms. It's amazing to have a cat around again. She has a lot of energy sometimes, and other times, she'll just cuddle. She always begs me for attention, and it really helps give me a reason to keep going. I love her. And she loves me. Cats are truly amazing. I'm so lucky to have found another that loves me so much.
I'm still not in a very good place with all that's happened and all that's going on (school stress, being disregarded and insulted by friends, feeling like I'm just a burden and letting everyone down) but having her around always brings light into a day. I named her Andromeda, like the galaxy. She is my world.
Thank you again. You really don't know how much better you made me feel just by reaching out. You care and kindness make my day. I hope I can be here for you as well. Stay strong. You are so amazing in your recovery. And you are more than worth it!
Lots of love,
Julesthefox