National Eating Disorders Association

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bballislife94
Still Unsure

I am 18 and just a month ago I was diagnosed with anorexia with anxiety and depression, although I know I have had an eating disorder for a while (started with being a high school athlete). I am still in shock that it is real. Before I just wanted it to go away and thought it was just a phase. But turns out not eating before a game to make sure there was nausea or cramps turned into excessively working out in order not to gain weight while in season and stay in shape in the off season. Not only did I have the fear of gaining too much weight but I also wouldn't eat when I was upset and still used basketball as an outlet, in turn I was still loosing weight. I would take food and say I was going to eat on the way and end up just throwing it away when I got to school. If anything ever went bad I would loose my appetite and avoid eating. With my anxiety if I see a lot of food, sometimes I have an anxiety attack and get shaking. I am in therapy but it is still really hard to deal with.

I had to move home from college because it got out of control and now I have that feeling of failure. I hate that my sister and loved ones know and have to see me struggle with something you can't avoid. I am still at the stage that I know I have a problem but it is still really easy to avoid eating if I feel the need to.

I still don't know how to enforce the steps that my therapist wants and it scares me that my mind has this much power over my body.

eghall
You can do this!

Hey bballislife94 -

Recovery can be scary but the good far outweighs the bad! One thing I will say for certain is that you are NOT a failure. Just the opposite! Working towards recovery is a huge accomplishment! I know it may not feel that way because you had to move home, but doing what you need to do to live a long, healthy life is not failure.

Have you ever thought about going to a support group? I know you can find some on this website under Find Help & Support.

It's important to know that you are not alone and the anxiety you have is not unusual. You CAN do this!