NEDA TOOLKIT for Parents
How to be supportive
Recommended Do’s
Educate yourself on eating disorders; learn the
jargon Learn the differences between facts and myths
about weight, nutrition, and exercise
Ask what you can do to help
Listen openly and reflectively
Be patient and nonjudgmental
Talk with the person in a kind way when you are
calm and not angry, frustrated, or upset
Have compassion when the person brings up
painful issues about underlying problems
Let him/her know you only want the best for
him/her Remind the person that he/she has people who
care and support him/her
Suggest professional help in a gentle way
Offer to go along
Be flexible and open with your support
Be honest
Compliment the person’s personality, successes,
and accomplishments
Encourage all activities suggested by the
treating care team, such as keeping
appointments and medication compliance
Encourage social activities that don’t involve
food Encourage the person to buy foods that he/she
will want to eat (as opposed to only “healthy”
foods) Help the person to be patient
Help with the person’s household chores (e.g.,
laundry, cleaning) as needed
Remember: recovery takes time and food may
always be a difficult issue
Remember: recovery work is up to the affected
person Show care, concern, and understanding
Ask how he/she is feeling
Try to be a good role model
Understand that the person is not looking for
attention or pity
Recommended Don’ts
Accuse or cause feelings of guilt
Invade privacy and contact the patient’s doctors
or others to check up behind his/her back
Demand weight changes (even if clinically
necessary for health)
Insist the person eat every type of food at the
table Invite the person out for social occasions where
the main focus is food
Invite the person to go clothes shopping
Make eating, food, clothes, or appearance the
focus of conversation
Make promises or rules you cannot or will not
follow (e.g., promising not to tell anyone)
Threaten (e.g., if you do this once more I’ll…)
Offer more help than you are qualified to give
Create guilt or place blame on the person
Put timetables on recovery
Take the person’s actions personally
Try to change the person’s attitudes about
eating or nag about food
Try to control the person’s life
Use scare tactics to get the person into
treatment, but do call 911 if you believe the
person’s condition is life-threatening
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