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NEDA TOOLKIT for Parents Can’t you just make her eat? Why didn’t you do anything sooner? Like many behavioral problems, it is hard to make changes unless there is a consistent, persistent, and clinically informed way of going about it. Although you can’t just “make them eat,” you can, as parents working with a professional who supports your efforts, find effective ways to disrupt starvation and over exercise. In fact, studies in the UK and US suggest that putting parents in charge of weight restoration is effective for most adolescents with anorexia nervosa. The scariest thing about eating disorders is how secretive they are and how well a person can hide the condition. Hindsight is 20/20. Had we known the signs and symptoms back then that we know now, we might have suspected it sooner and would have sought help right away. Even then, the person has to be willing to accept treatment after the initial medical crisis is over—and the nature of the illness makes that hard. Will he/she be cured after treatment? We’re hopeful for a full recovery over time. It can be a very long haul. Getting the right treatment is key and that’s a significant part of what I’m trying to accomplish. Is there a chance that he/she could die? Eating disorders can be life-threatening. They affect a person’s physical and emotional health. Some people have died from them. It’s very scary, but we are hopeful and doing everything we can to make sure he/she gets care that will prevent that. Do you want us to help the child make-up work (flexible schedule) or should we leave him/her back a grade? Do you want us to provide a tutor? Let’s schedule a meeting with my child’s therapist and the principal, key teachers, nurse, and school psychologist to create the education plan. What kind of support do you want the school to provide? Have a specific list from the treatment team: Mealtime support; excuse from physical education or other activities as needed; communication expected from school and with whom. What can I do to help? Thanks very much for asking. Life has been very draining lately just trying to make sure my child is getting the care he/she needs. It leaves little time for the mundane. I keep my “to-do” list handy. (Pull out your list.) If you’re serious, I could use help with (assign a task with a date and time that it’s needed). Why aren’t you letting me help you? Our child’s illness is serious and I’m relying on professional help to treat his/her condition. The help I need from family and friends is your continued support and ongoing friendship. I appreciate your asking. If I think of something our family needs that you can do for us, I’ll let you know. Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier? It’s private and our focus initially was on educating ourselves and getting our child the best care. We weren’t even sure it would be helpful to share with others. So when we were ready, we decided that now is the right time for us to share this with friends and family. How are you coping with this? Thanks for asking. It’s very draining and very stressful on our entire family. We really appreciate the understanding and support coming from friends. Page | 18