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NEDA TOOLKIT for Parents How to be supportive Recommended Do’s Educate yourself on eating disorders; learn the jargon Learn the differences between facts and myths about weight, nutrition, and exercise Ask what you can do to help Listen openly and reflectively Be patient and nonjudgmental Talk with the person in a kind way when you are calm and not angry, frustrated, or upset Have compassion when the person brings up painful issues about underlying problems Let him/her know you only want the best for him/her Remind the person that he/she has people who care and support him/her Suggest professional help in a gentle way Offer to go along Be flexible and open with your support Be honest Compliment the person’s personality, successes, and accomplishments Encourage all activities suggested by the treating care team, such as keeping appointments and medication compliance Encourage social activities that don’t involve food Encourage the person to buy foods that he/she will want to eat (as opposed to only “healthy” foods) Help the person to be patient Help with the person’s household chores (e.g., laundry, cleaning) as needed Remember: recovery takes time and food may always be a difficult issue Remember: recovery work is up to the affected person Show care, concern, and understanding Ask how he/she is feeling Try to be a good role model Understand that the person is not looking for attention or pity Recommended Don’ts Accuse or cause feelings of guilt Invade privacy and contact the patient’s doctors or others to check up behind his/her back Demand weight changes (even if clinically necessary for health) Insist the person eat every type of food at the table Invite the person out for social occasions where the main focus is food Invite the person to go clothes shopping Make eating, food, clothes, or appearance the focus of conversation Make promises or rules you cannot or will not follow (e.g., promising not to tell anyone) Threaten (e.g., if you do this once more I’ll…) Offer more help than you are qualified to give Create guilt or place blame on the person Put timetables on recovery Take the person’s actions personally Try to change the person’s attitudes about eating or nag about food Try to control the person’s life Use scare tactics to get the person into treatment, but do call 911 if you believe the person’s condition is life-threatening Page | 12