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NEDA TOOLKIT for Educators Tips for communicating with parents/guardians After a student has been referred for follow-up to a school’s student assistance program or appropriate school staff, here are some suggestions for implementing successful communications between the school and student and the school and parents. Before you approach the family • Consider the family dynamics and any cultural or social issues that may make it difficult for the parents/families to discuss issues. • When approaching parents/families, always ask if it is a convenient time to talk, and then schedule a time if it isn’t convenient at that moment. • Be prepared for resistance from the student about talking to his/her family and reassure them that you are concerned for their health and you would be negligent if you didn’t do something. • Be prepared for pushback from the family about the presence of potential mental health problems in their child. • If the parents are not open to help but the student is, ask him/her privately what type of support you can provide during the school day (a quiet place to eat lunch, someone to talk to, etc.). When you start the conversation with the family or guardians • Show empathy and support. Listen to what the family member says without interrupting, judging, or making pronouncements or promises. • Balance supportive and empathetic concern with a serious tone. • Aim to establish and maintain a positive, open, and supportive relationship with parents/ families. Be mindful that the parents may feel guilty, blamed, or in some way responsible for the eating issue or disorder. • Begin by telling the parents/families that you are concerned about the student AND offer specific, factual observations about the student’s behavior to illustrate your concerns. Don’t interpret what the behavior could mean — just state the facts of the observed behaviors. • Don’t make or suggest a diagnosis. • Stay calm and stay focused on the goal of the conversation: to help the family help your student with his/her problems and improve academic performance and quality of life. • Encourage the family to access support, information, or treatment from external agencies, and have resources available to which to refer them. • Don’t persist with a conversation that isn’t going well. This may damage future communication. Here are some examples: • We are concerned about (student’s name) because of some behaviors we’ve noticed recently. Specifically, he/she has been keeping to himself/herself a lot and has been [distracted, fidgety, agitated, unfocused] in class. I was wondering if you had any concerns or noticed anything recently. • We are concerned about (student’s name) because of some comments we’ve heard him/ her make about himself/herself recently. We’ve heard [student] make a lot of comments about feeling unhappy about his/her appearance, weight. I was wondering if you had any concerns or noticed anything recently. • We are concerned about [student’s name] because of some behaviors we’ve noticed recently. We’ve noticed [student] does [not eat lunch; eats very little; throws lunch away; always requests a restroom pass immediately after eating and becomes very agitated or upset if not given a pass at that moment]. I was wondering if you had any concerns or noticed anything recently. To end a conversation that isn’t going well • Acknowledge that you sense it must be difficult to talk about. • Reassure the family that it’s okay if they don’t want to talk about this with you personally, but encourage them to follow up with someone else, such as another teacher, counselor, or physician. • Reiterate the school’s concern for their son/ daughter. • Leave the door open by reassuring them that you are available to talk anytime. • Let them know that you will contact them again soon to check in. • You may also want to let them know about the school’s duty of care to its students. Page  | 24