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NEDA TOOLKIT for Parents Remind your child that life will be there after recovery. Taking time off of school or college can seem like a deal-breaker to many young people. What can be hard to realize in the moment is that school and life will still be waiting after they are more stable in their recovery. Plenty of people can seek treatment for their eating disorder with minimal disruption in their life, but others need more intensive support. When making your decisions about treatment, remember that recovery comes first. Everything else can wait. If your child is over 18, you may be more limited in what you can legally require your child to do. However, don’t despair. You have love on your side, and that really helps. Here are some other things that also might help: Use whatever leverage you have. Even some of the most successful young adults aren’t completely financially independent, especially while at college or if they have recently graduated. Require them to seek an eating disorder evaluation and seek appropriate treatment (including signing any waivers). Make these actions contingent on your providing any financial or practical assistance, such as paying for college, car, cell phones, etc. It sounds cruel on the surface, but you are really prioritizing their health and their life above anything else. Seek to be involved with their treatment. Yes, they’re over 18 and they’re legally adults. But an eating disorder often causes a regression in maturity, so although they might be 25 in years, they may only be able to function at the level of a 14-year-old. Add to that the fact that the eating disorder is a master manipulator and feels threatened when others are involved in treatment. Regardless of how your child feels about you being involved in their treatment, you can provide valuable insights to clinicians that your child might miss. Keep lines of communication open. If your child initially rejects your pleas that they seek help, don’t give up. If they are financially independent, you may have less leverage to encourage them to seek care, but you can still play an important role in their life. It may take time for the message that you love them and you want them to live a full and complete life without an eating disorder in the way to sink in. Hopefully, with time and love and lots of open communication, they will receive your message. Set your own boundaries. Know what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate in your home. Every family will draw the lines somewhat differently. Try framing it like drug abuse. You probably wouldn’t allow your child to do heroin in their bedroom if you could stop it. Make it clear to your loved one what behaviors are out of bounds and what the consequences are, and then calmly, clearly, and consistently follow through. This will help reinforce in their minds what is and isn’t okay, and will hopefully help to encourage them to seek treatment. Page  | 19