NEDA TOOLKIT for Parents
Questions to Ask a Treatment Provider Privately
You may have some questions for a treatment provider that you may prefer to ask privately, without your family
member nearby. The following are some questions that other parents and loved ones have found useful to ask
when the eating disorder sufferer is out of earshot. Be aware that the clinician may not be able to provide you with
an answer on the spot and may need time to get back to you. If you are not satisfied with their answers, ask the
treatment provider to clarify their responses, or find another clinician. Do not let a treatment provider push you to
the background or be dismissive of your concerns.
• How can I support my loved one’s recovery?
• Which books, websites, and other resources should
I read about eating disorders?
• How often will I be updated on his/her progress?
• What is the best method to use to contact you with
concerns I might have between sessions?
• Should I monitor my child’s computer usage? What
sites should I be on the lookout for?
• What should I do if my family member does
not want to discuss his/her eating disorder or
treatment with me?
• What should I do if my child is unable or unwilling
to participate in treatment?
• What should I do if my loved one says they want to
pursue recovery their own way, or that they will eat
when they are ready? How can I help them work
towards recovery and keep them safe?
• Can my loved one be admitted to treatment invol-
untarily? What are the criteria for making those
decisions? What steps would need to be taken?
• If my family member is obsessed with food,
cooking, or fitness, how can I best limit these
activities? • What will happen if my loved one needs a higher
level of care? How will that decision be made?
• What can I do if my family member wants to
dictate the family’s eating or food habits? How do I
set appropriate boundaries?
• (if a loved one is temporarily living at a facility) How
should I prepare for my loved one’s return home?
• What are common signs of self-harming behavior?
• How do I prevent self-harming in my loved one?
• What are signs that my family member is purging?
Exercising in secret? Hiding/throwing away food?
• How do I prevent purging at home and at school/
elsewhere? • What steps should I take if I discover my loved one
is purging?
• How do I prevent excessive or compulsive exercise?
• What steps should I take if I discover my loved one
exercising? • How can I help my child tackle his/her “fear
foods”? How can I help expand the foods he/she is
willing to eat?
• What happens if my loved one refuses a meal or
snack? What happens next?
• What should I do if I discover my loved one is binge
eating? If I interrupt them mid-binge?
• How do I respond if I discover eating disorder
paraphernalia (scales, diet pills, measuring tapes,
etc.) that my loved one has hidden or is using?
• Is it a good idea for my loved one to have a
job related to food or exercise while they are
recovering? • Should my family member be involved at all
in grocery shopping, or meal planning and
preparation? • If my loved one needs to gain weight,
approximately how much weight should they gain
per week?
• What kind of support should I provide to my family
member during refeeding?
• What treatment provider will be responsible for
weighing my family member? If you want me to
weigh my child at home, what procedures should I
follow? • How do I provide support during mealtimes?
• What should I do if my loved one experiences
aggressive or impulsive behavior during treatment?
• What are signs of a medical or psychiatric emer
gency? Who should I call? When should I take my
loved one to the emergency room or call 911?
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