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NEDA TOOLKIT for Coaches and Trainers The challenge of making it to the top in an aesthetic sport Talking with Former competitive diver and 2004 Olympian Kimiko Soldati Kimiko Soldati is an elite athlete who struggled with an eating disorder and is now involved in the sport from the coaching side. She is married to Purdue University head women’s and men’s diving coach Adam Soldati, and serves as volunteer assistant coach for the Purdue teams. My coach didn’t know about my disorder at first. I remember being terrified before I told him. I felt like I was letting him down; I was embarrassed. But it was a road we traveled together, and it helped for me to communicate to him what was helpful to me and what wasn’t. From where I am now, looking back, I see how horribly entrenched my eating disorder was; it was like being sucked into something and struggling just to breathe. I dealt with bulimia and excessive exercise for about 10 years. In diving, you’re out there by yourself in a swimsuit being judged by what you look like. As in gymnastics and other aesthetic sports, your body is your tool and your means of performance and the goal is perfection. Being in a sport like that, my body was constantly at the forefront of my mind. It definitely contributed to developing an eating disorder, and it was exhausting. Here are some helpful strategies, some of which my coach used with me during my recovery, and some of which my husband, who was with me throughout my recovery, now uses with his diving teams: It is difficult for athletes and coaches to draw that line between being as physically fit as possible and maintaining peak performance, but keeping on this side of obsession and compulsion. For me that line was completely blurred. Any athlete with an eating disorder has the attributes coaches love: they are coach- pleasing; they have high pain tolerance; they are driven to succeed; they are perfectionists and control freaks. They are very coachable, and coaches love that. It’s frightening for coaches to think, “If I change this person, it’s going to change those characteristics, and I really like those traits.” Coaches are in the hardest position, because their job is to produce champions. Eating disorders in my sport are more prevalent than even statistics show. You have the diving competition, and then you have the underlying body competition: who’s skinny, who’s fat, who’s five pounds over. It’s the first thing that comes to divers’ minds when they walk into the pool. While I never thought my eating disorder was affecting my performance, I look back and realize it did. I struggled with injuries my whole career, underwent five shoulder surgeries and did not heal properly. I was also an emotional train wreck because my identity was totally wrapped up in my sport. Seeking treatment with a therapist and the strength I drew from my faith eventually helped me overcome my disorder. • • • • • • Validate your female athletes’ feelings, a lot. It will feel redundant and obvious to say, “I understand how you’re feeling,” or to point out daily areas an athlete is doing well in, not just those that need improvement. But your athlete will be better equipped to do the hard work you are asking of her if she feels understood and appreciated. If you notice odd behaviors, ask how your athlete is doing. “What’s going on? Are you stressed about a meet?” Try to go deeper than just focusing on the behaviors themselves. Ask, “What can I do to help you relieve the anxiety?” Be honest with yourself. Are you in this sport for yourself, or for your athletes? Obviously, you want to win, but are you willing to compromise an athlete’s emotional and physical well-being to attain those results? Take the time to speak one-on-one with your athletes about their goals. If meeting those goals will require a reduction in weight, talk about how to do this gradually, with the help of a sports nutritionist, and in a way that will not trigger unhealthy behaviors. When you do deliver a critique or comment touching on weight, size or shape, follow it up with, “How did you interpret what I just said?” You may be shocked at how a female athlete has completely misinterpreted your remark. Enlist team leaders to help create a healthy eating environment so athletes aren’t competing to see who can eat the least. When it comes to healthy eating and body image, peer communications are often better received than coaches’ pronouncements. Page  | 47