NEDA TOOLKIT for Educators
Tips for communicating with parents/guardians
After a student has been referred for follow-up to a
school’s student assistance program or appropriate
school staff, here are some suggestions for implementing
successful communications between the school and
student and the school and parents.
Before you approach the family
• Consider the family dynamics and any cultural
or social issues that may make it difficult for
the parents/families to discuss issues.
• When approaching parents/families, always
ask if it is a convenient time to talk, and then
schedule a time if it isn’t convenient at that
moment. • Be prepared for resistance from the student
about talking to his/her family and reassure
them that you are concerned for their health
and you would be negligent if you didn’t do
something. • Be prepared for pushback from the family
about the presence of potential mental health
problems in their child.
• If the parents are not open to help but the
student is, ask him/her privately what type of
support you can provide during the school day
(a quiet place to eat lunch, someone to talk to,
etc.). When you start the conversation with the
family or guardians
• Show empathy and support. Listen to what
the family member says without interrupting,
judging, or making pronouncements or
promises. • Balance supportive and empathetic concern
with a serious tone.
• Aim to establish and maintain a positive, open,
and supportive relationship with parents/
families. Be mindful that the parents may feel
guilty, blamed, or in some way responsible for
the eating issue or disorder.
• Begin by telling the parents/families that
you are concerned about the student AND
offer specific, factual observations about the
student’s behavior to illustrate your concerns.
Don’t interpret what the behavior could
mean — just state the facts of the observed
behaviors. • Don’t make or suggest a diagnosis.
• Stay calm and stay focused on the goal of the
conversation: to help the family help your
student with his/her problems and improve
academic performance and quality of life.
• Encourage the family to access support,
information, or treatment from external
agencies, and have resources available to which
to refer them.
• Don’t persist with a conversation that
isn’t going well. This may damage future
communication. Here are some examples:
• We are concerned about (student’s name)
because of some behaviors we’ve noticed
recently. Specifically, he/she has been
keeping to himself/herself a lot and has been
[distracted, fidgety, agitated, unfocused] in
class. I was wondering if you had any concerns
or noticed anything recently.
• We are concerned about (student’s name)
because of some comments we’ve heard him/
her make about himself/herself recently. We’ve
heard [student] make a lot of comments about
feeling unhappy about his/her appearance,
weight. I was wondering if you had any
concerns or noticed anything recently.
• We are concerned about [student’s name]
because of some behaviors we’ve noticed
recently. We’ve noticed [student] does [not
eat lunch; eats very little; throws lunch away;
always requests a restroom pass immediately
after eating and becomes very agitated or
upset if not given a pass at that moment]. I was
wondering if you had any concerns or noticed
anything recently.
To end a conversation that isn’t going well
• Acknowledge that you sense it must be difficult
to talk about.
• Reassure the family that it’s okay if they don’t
want to talk about this with you personally, but
encourage them to follow up with someone
else, such as another teacher, counselor, or
physician. • Reiterate the school’s concern for their son/
daughter. • Leave the door open by reassuring them that
you are available to talk anytime.
• Let them know that you will contact them
again soon to check in.
• You may also want to let them know about the
school’s duty of care to its students.
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