National Eating Disorders Association

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Twhite
Self Respect, Free time and Coping Skills

Well for those of you who have followed my posts and my journey the past few weeks, I made the big step today. I went to therapy today. It was extremely hard and was very open with my therapist. I was surprised at how supportive she was and how much she still cared and wanted to help me. We had some great conservation and while I still feel there is a lot to work out and work through I made the right step today getting myself there.
We had some conservation about the way I see myself and how I can start not being so hard on myself and how I can start to respect myself more and treat myself better. I am always finding ways to numb, to keep extremely busy so that I do not have to think or be myself. This past week I think I worked about 85 hours. I have even been banned from picking up shifts at work because I have over worked myself.
I am the type of person that freaks out if I have any kind of free time. Now that school is done for the summer I have most of my day that is free. I have been challenged today to find ways to respect myself, to deal with and handle in healthy ways my free time, and to find healthy coping skills. I don't even know where to begin. My therapist has compared me to a young child, just learning for the first time what I like and don't, what I am and am not good at. the idea of it freaks me out. I have always been very hard on myself, I have always faced some kind of abuse so that I can get anywhere in life. it is who I am. it is what I do. the idea of anything differently is absolutely crazy to me. I am slightly terrified at how I am going to even begin filling my free time with respect healthy skills and good things.
So I am wondering if anyone has any input. Things you found you liked and were helpful?

eghall
Giant step!

Congrats Twhite! You had a big day full of success! I'm so proud of you and hope you are proud of yourself.

My therapist compared me to a child as well. It's never too late to figure out what we like, what we are good at and just redefine ourselves in general. I find writing things down to be very helpful, so I started with a list of words, activities and really just anything that made me happy. I found journaling to be very cathartic. I took up knitting, I read more books than I can count and painted. As you can tell, I like the more creative activities. In treatment, we had craft class and did meditation. I found that when I did something that required focus, it made for a great distraction. It wasn't always easy to focus, but it got easier with time.

I hope this helps. Again, I am so proud of you for making this giant leap today!!

LegacyofLove
Sounds like a GIANT leap!

Yes - CONGRATS Twhite!! I echo eghall's wonderful reply post to you! I too have found that focusing on what activities, or anything in life that makes us happy is key to everyone's personal evolution of growth. We are all a work in progress. So, know that you are not alone in these thoughts.

What are some of your passions or interests?

Lastly, I'm also very proud of you too! Keep up the GREAT work!

Loving Hugs!