National Eating Disorders Association

6 posts / 0 new
Last post
BethWalsh
Scared of gaining weight

I have managed to gain a small amount of weight, however this was mainly through an NG tube, now out of hospital, a year later my weight hasn't gone up much. I'm so scared of gaining weight that i lie to my dad about what I've had and keep trying to lower my intake, i know this is the anorexia taking over again. I'm scared of gaining weight and I'm scared of going back into hospital. I don't have anybody to talk to who understands and i don't know how to cope with problems without being self destructive. has anybody been through similar problems? is gaining weight easier once your at a more healthy BMI, like- do you see healthy or does the voices always stay- will i always look in the mirror and dislike my body?

brokengirl
i dont have anything useful

i dont have anything useful to say but just wanted to say i understand. sitting with you.

oyster
Fear of gaining

Your feelings are just symptoms of the AN that everyone has. Do you have a therapist - can you get one?

Yes, I believe things get a lot better as you gain. I have had a relapse, but I am trying hard to gain again. I remember how good I felt at a higher weighty. And it was only then that people began to tell me I was too thin. I think they don't say that when we're emaciated because we look so sick. Many assumed I had cancer.

I hope you get the support you need. And it seems you have a choice to make between gaining and going into the hospital again. Please stop lying to your Dad. He will find out soon enough and he will know he can't trust what you say about the ED.

Wishing you all the best. You can do this with some more support.

TheAllieCat
Totally get it :/

Hi! I totally feel your pain. I started recovery about a month ago and my biggest anxiety has been gaining weight. I have a therapist, and when I talked to her about it, she told me that in order to heal my thinking, I have to eat. The brain is an organ and it needs food like the rest of the body, so if I want to fix my mental problems and anxiety, I need to eat. I had never thought of it that way. As long as you keep restricting, you are going to have this fear. Only when you feed yourself and give your brain the nutrients it needs can your mentality heal. I hope this helps! Best of luck ;)

Mady1012
It can be difficult

Hi BethWalsh,

I understand how difficult and frightening this must be, but as Oyster and TheAllieCat mentions, it is normal and apart of recovery. Things will get better. Do you have any support to guide you through these difficult times? If you need resources I encourage you to contact the NEDA Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 M-Th 9AM-9PM F 9AM-5PM EST, as they can guide you to resources in your area. Hang in there and don't give up, take it one day at a time. I hope you continue to keep us updated!

Mady

1fishygal68
They have different meds they could put you on to help increase

Gaining weight is not all your responsibility. You try your best but sometimes a doctor may need to be the 1 to step in and decide what is best to help your body accept a healthy and progressive weight gain for your age, height and metabolism. Usually the metabolism is the 1st to be totally messed up from starvation habits and thus sometimes meds need to jumpstart the body's way of re-fueling so that the food we eat is actually appreciated by the body.

In other words if the system is really amuck then there will be repairs required via meds and intensive therapy before we see any weight gain increase and that happens too when you learn to accept recovery and agree to the plan.

My meds helped me to gain a good amount of weight. But that was partly because they also gave me a good healthy appetite, and less anxiety over weight gain after eating I would go take a nap in lieu of going for a brisk run on a frigidly cold night. So that's an example what psych meds can do to help change mindset and physiology to accelerate the mental health and physical healing of an undernourished/underweight body.

otherwise you may be on the 60 year recovery plan, and most bodies don't survive that long w/o enough nutrition because the vital organs suffer even before the weight gain is properly restored. it's like frostBite and body parts.

Once were frostbitten our body parts may never be the same if the frostBite was very severe. be Careful and Good Luck.