National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
sad and discouraged.

Hello. It is interesting that I am feeling much better physically, returned to work today, have a new used car that I can not drive yet, that I "should" be happy, but I am not. I am depressed.

Enter sister: She hardly ever comes out of her room. I feel like it is a morgue. So upsetting. We are planning on attending my nieces wedding but if she was not able to walk or be driven three houses down when my father married them, how can she all of a sudden be able to travel over an hour, and be okay for the wedding.

I feel so sad. She lives in a cave. And there is nothing I can do about it. I can pray. Yes...And I don't pray enough for her. I am a bit concerned about being with family, sisters, all at the same hotel. And more family besides.

I have bad dreams about serious self harm and it is soooo real. Then I wake up and I am so thankful. I also dream about crashing my new car.

The dreams are so real. My blood pressure is doing so much better, and I am not taking the tablets to see if it makes any difference when I go to my cardiologist. My regular doctor told me not to take them until I see the other doctor.

Also my best friend, something I never had before, is moving out of state by the end of the year if not before and she is travelling back and forth. I don't get to see her hardly anymore and I am not quite sure how to handle that.

Well, I guess that's it. Take care and have a good night's sleep.

London1621
Hugs

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now with this. And you have a lot going on and on your mind. I send you Lots of Hugs so that you will be ok and that everything will workout for you. Hugs.

iwanttolive
London1621

Thank you. Great hugs back to you. Thank you again. Yes a LOT is going on....The most challenging is living with a sister who never comes out of her dark room. But thank you for the hugs.

lovetowrite81
Iwanttolive

I'm so sorry you are having a rough day. How was it going back to work today? I can imagine that's really difficult seeing your sister so isolated and withdrawn, and feeling like there's nothing you can do (except pray as you mentioned.) I'm glad that your blood pressure is better! All I can say is there are going to be difficult days and seasons, but we can take heart because God is good & His faithfulness to His children is unwavering. He has his hand on your sister, He is in control of all that is happening, putting the chaos into order- in ways we can't even see right now. <3 We're here for you. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.