National Eating Disorders Association

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Roommate is suspiciously having anneroxia symptoms which distract my recovery

Good evening everyone!
I'm a freshman in college. And everything works very well except my roommate has some issues. She's neither fat nor skinny. But somehow she started to exercise crazily and skipping meals.) Meanwhile she pays too much attention on the calories and avoids food that are unhealthy completely.

Since my roommate and I are kind of close, we spend some times together everyday especially during lunchtimes & every evening after 10 p.m before go to bed. When I want to eat, for instance, a piece of chocolate, she always "kindly" reminds me how many calories in it. And it is very difficult to see how little she eats and how much exercises she do and listen to her brag. And still I try to stay positive and eat three meals which all contain both meat and carbohydrates regularly everyday,do exercises 3/4 times a week and don't care that much about weight. I just can't help but be impacted by her. Yesterday I founds out that I've lost some weight and my BMI has changed. Yes, these all happened in one month. And moreover, I've started to calculate calories for meals and exercised everyday for long hours again.

I've attenpt to suggest these issues with her,but she didn't think there are any problems and told me she was super heavy before in middle school so she's very afraid of gaining even a little bit of weight.

I'm so sorry to write that long, but I don't want to go back to hospital again. Does anyone here has same experience or has any suggestions about it? I will be appreciated for your help.



Hello and welcome to the forums Grace. Your post has been edited to more adhere to community guidelines. Some users may be triggered by specific weight numbers as well as BMI numbers; therefore, users are discouraged from posting either. The community guidelines can be found here: you and please continue posting


Hi Gracie_zsq! I have also had similar issues with my roommate in the past and it can be very upsetting. Have you tried talking to her in a caring, non-judgmental manner? My old roommate she got very defensive when people seemed to be attacking her for her eating disorder. She only opened up once someone told her that they care and are there to talk to her whenever she wants to talk. Also, have you thought about suggesting the student health center counseling services to her? Or even for yourself? It definitely helps to talk it over with a professional. Or, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, you can call the Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. I hope that helps and good luck!!!

My ex boyfriend...

I didn't think about it until later but when my ED was at its peak was when he began controlling my meals by swooping me up at places like the libray where I would work on campus at night and invite me out to fast food dinner w/ him.

He did this quite often which made me want to use more controlling ED behaviors while at school in between my college classes.

This went on for 4 yrs during college. in a way I suppose he kept me from becoming too weak, and therefore I still graduated in record time and went on to grad school w/ less of an ED but still occasionally active during exams and relational stress,etc...

To this day I look back and thank my 1st male friend in college for looking out for me like, "A little sister."