National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
rollercoaster

Hi all,

WOW!!! What a time I've had. I posted two times and erased both after posting because it wasn't so nice. I had to eat humble pie because I acted not in love and really upset my sister. She is very ill and hardly ever comes out of her room. There was a huge cat fight, my dad got involved and it was a mess. I apologized and she said she was also sorry.

Court went well. I have to pay $450, but that ensures that my two points are removed, no increase in insurance and the man I hit didn't show up so he can not claim bodily injury. It he does my insurance covers it. I am able to make payments each month so I don't have to eat this bill by myself. Also there will be nothing on my record that will be counted against me.

It has been very stressful and I am learning slowly how to live a surrendered life and not having to be right which I messed up big time yesterday. The one positive in all of this is that I remain behavior free, eight months now. I owe God the praise for that. Relationally, things are a bit rough, but I can hope for restoration, pray for it.

I am nervous as soon the four sisters, one we adopted into the family after she came over from the Philippines, She is like a sister, will all be staying in a hotel for the night. One good thing is that my Aunt will be coming for a month and we will share a room with her, my friend and my Aunt and myself. I worry about the other sisters and how they will respond to me as they basically don't involve themselves in my life. It's been this way for forever, another thing to surrender and accept, that DBT skill, radical acceptance. Not sure I like the skill but it does help.

So for now, I hope you all rest well and don't give up. Times will be difficult, but don't let the eating disorder tell you lies that it is the answer. ED is dead. For me. Take care, iwanttolive

rach898
RE: rollercoaster

Wow, that really does sound like a rollercoaster but I'm so happy that you were able to get the points removed and there is nothing on your record!!! It's also incredible and inspiring that through all of this stress you are able to remain behavior free. Keep staying positive! And keep writing! if you're ever feeling down, we are all here for you :)