National Eating Disorders Association

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7s1amma7
Roller Coaster Ride

Our Daughter developed an eating disorder in december of 2015. The ED became apparent to us in march. During this time she mainly restricted but also purged in a variety of ways. We began residential treatment at her first treatment center. Finances limited us to 30 days of residential treatment. D made a lot of progress there and I shutter to think if we had not been financially restricted that she may have recovered there. From there we went directly into php at a second treatment center. It was our goal to step down from php to iop closer to home after 4 weeks. At the end of the 4 weeks her therapist informed us that she was still very rooted in her eating disorder and that iop would not go well. We had a conversation with our D and she stated that "she did not feel like she was ready to get better" This conversation led us to a third treatment center. And this is where things turn and where I'm really looking for insight and guidance. Throughout this treatment she has ben a willling participant and seemed invested in her recovery. However, when we got to the third treatment center it was like a switch flipped. She said she did not want to be there, hated us for forcing her to recover. She had not restricted since we started treatment however after we left her at the third treatment center she began a full restriction over the weekend. She had also never self harmed during treatment but also started self harming at the third treatment center. The "im not ready to recover" has turned into "i dont want to recover" I am in no way blaming the third treatment center for this, I know its the ED trying to fight for control and I've heard it gets worse before it gets better but this swing was just so unpredicted and wild.

Erin_Patricia1
Hang in there!

Hi 7s1amma7!

Welcome to the NEDA online forum community! We are so glad to have you here and that you have found a place that you have support and a listening ear. I am so sorry to hear about what you are currently experiencing with your daughter. I know it must be a very frustrating situation for you and your family. The facility your daughter is currently at (the third treatment center), is it an in-patient facility or is it IOP? Did your daughter say anything that would indicate why she disliked this facility over the other facility she previously went to?

Have you tried using the "Find Help and Support" link at the top of the NEDA page? From there, you can click on the Information and Helpline phone number link. The Information and Referral Helpline phone number has trained volunteers who can give you additional resources for you and your family. Maybe you could try having your daughter? The NEDA Helpline is available Monday-Thursday, from 9:00AM-9:00PM (ET). I know it's not a cure-all and she has to want to get better, but it could help your family find any additional resources for the time being.

Please let us know how the NEDA website can help and I wish you the best of luck!

Erin_Patricia1

7s1amma7
She is in the residential

She is in the residential program at her current (third) treatment center. The main difference between the two programs is that her current treatment center offers a choice for feeding and meals where as her first treatment center did not. It was easier for our daughter to eat at the first treatment center because she felt like she was required to and therefor she was not betraying the ED. The same goes for the PHP in the second treatment center, she felt like we required it of her. At the current treatment center the choice is causing her a lot of anxiety because the power/choice is hers to eat or not eat. At this point she refuses to betray the eating disorder. She is also doing a lot of body checking and comparisons. Her restriction has required the use of a feeding tube. However, she is refusing NG feeds at the current treatment center as well. At the moment she is currently at the ER recieving fluids and tube feeds. We are trying to avoid refeeding syndrome at the moment. Like I said the main thing that baffles me is the instantaneous turn around. She was 95-100% on meals for two plus months and after breakfast went into a full restriction. Literally, she ate breakfast at a restaurant before being admitted and since entering has not complied with nutrition one bit. I see and agree with the philosophy of the current treatment center, she has to own the choice, and she has to choose it for herself. I welcome insight and support butI am not here looking for answers exclusively. I felt as if I put our experience out there maybe it would benefit someone else down the road.

kelsey207
Hi 7s1amma7,

You're right; treatment can be like a roller coaster. Thank you so much for posting here and sharing your perspective and experiences. I'm sure other families and loved ones can relate to what you're going through and appreciate the information you shared. It's hard when procedures vary from one center to another. Plus, like you said, the ED fights back when you try to recover, so that can explain some of the ups and downs. It sounds like you're a caring, concerned parent and that you're dong the best you can for your daughter. It's great that you're getting her treatment and that you're looking out for her. Don't lose hope. Remember that recovery is possible!

Here are some resources that might be useful for you and your daughter:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-family-friends-network
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-toolkit
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/neda-navigators
Self-Harm Information Line: 800-DONTCUT (366.8288) http://www.selfinjury.com

We wish you and your family the best! Please keep us updated on how things are going.

7s1amma7
Just an update... After the

Just an update... After the weekend long restriction my wife and I informed her that the choice was no longer hers to make and that eating was not an option. Veritas actually asked us to make this statement. We've not had to force or request or plea or bargain or even tube feed. Once she felt like the choice was no longer hers she began to eat at 90-100% She seemed relieved when we told her that it was no longer a choice. We know we will have to come back to this and it will eventually have to be her choice. But, right now, if we can keep her eating hopefully we can get her healthy enough to better make that choice in the future.

7s1amma7
Daughter is still up and down

Daughter is still up and down... Weight is still constant so we have that going for us. She has started eating more consistently which has led to the removal of the NG tube. However she still has bouts of restriction when we are not there. We live 3 states away and it is impossible for us to be there 100% of the time while she is in Residential. We will be able to swing it for PHP. But, right now it seems like the eating disorder is able to take over when we are not there to reinforce the choice issue. Right now there is still a lot of competetion rooted with the ED and the other girls also. Most of the girls are choosing not to eat. We did have one bit of encouragement this week. Our nutritionist said that our daughter asked to be moved to another area so she could eat with out feeling judged. Right now we concerned because her primary motivation for eating is being able to return home and most likely resume her ED behaviors. Her therapist has told us not to be concerned and that as long as she is eating consistently that its still a major step.

Erin_Patricia1
Glad to hear...

Hi 7s1amma7!

Thanks for the update and I'm glad to hear that your daughter is doing better at this time. Feel free to continue posting on here whenever you need to! I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and I wish you all the best of luck with your daughter's recovery! <3 <3

Erin_Patricia1