National Eating Disorders Association

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Right now

I am hating myself and everything I've survived and my eating disorder. I really want to restrict today. I want to make up for all the calories I feel I consumed. I'm really nervous about continuing to eat from this point on. I only want to drink something with no calories and nothing more. I feel like a failure if I give in and eat. I guess ED is extremely strong. I can't think of anything positive to believe about myself right now. It makes me want to give up and not fight.
I'm having a really hard day in regards to my self image and eating disorder thoughts.