National Eating Disorders Association

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boneaddict
Pregnant with ED

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and still active in my eating disorder. I have continued to severely restrict my calorie intake and abuse laxatives. I do have concern for the health of my child, but my fear of ggainedweight outweighs that concern. This is my second pregnancy and my first son was born and is healthy. However, I stopped taking laxatives while pregnant with him and allowed myself to eat a bit more . I am very unhealthy and have been utterly miserable throughout this pregnancy.My doctor says the baby is healthy, so I am grateful for that.
I just know I'm never going to stop and I will be very extreme with my eating disorder post partum.

Peachgirl43
I know it hurts

I'm so very sorry that you are consumed with your weight, food and calories . I can only say that I know how you feel because I'm in the middle of my own personal battle. I'm not in a position to offer advice or tell you that you shouldn't engage in your eating disorder . But I will encourage you to do some soul searching and decide for yourself what does your eating disoder represent to you. I'm hoping that you will at leat reevaluate your behaviors and decide to find a therapist to help you sort through all your pain. Because it's seems like you want help and you are reaching out now . I hope you have a blessed Christmas and a happy new year. May you enjoy your family and try not to fret to much over the holidays. As for your goal to dive into your eating disorder once you give birth, I pray you rethink that and try to seek help now. Best of luck to you

Peachgirl43

nanzhu
Hi boneaddict,

Hi boneaddict,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with your ED through your pregnancy. I'm not a medical professional so I can't give you any concrete advice, and I'm glad to hear your doctor says your baby is healthy thus far, but I do strongly encourage you to speak to your doctor (or a therapist, psychologist, etc.) about your eating disorder as soon as possible. Aside from the medical consequences of an ED which a doctor can explain more to you, what concerns me the most is that you state that you're "utterly miserable" - you DESERVE to find peace in your life! Living in fear of weight gain and feeling so consumed by an ED are not things that you should be suffering through. Have you shared your concerns with anyone else, such as family or friends? Starting with people close to you can help you build a support system step by step. You deserve more and making your wellbeing a top priority, both physical and mental, can help you overcome and maintain recovery from your ED. It IS possible to stop (that is always an option that you have the right to) but it's up to you to make that commitment!

The NEDA Helpline is a great place to start: 1-800-931-2237, M-R9-9, F9-5 EST. Here are some other links that might be helpful in the meantime:
Health concerns: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/eating-disorder-health-concerns
Treatment basics: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/treatment-basics
Seeking treatment: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/seeking-and-securing-treatment
Recovery and relapse prevention: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/recovery-and-relapse-prevention

All the best!
Nan