National Eating Disorders Association

Stories of Hope

Killing Me Softly
By Jasmina

I was 11 when I first got anorexia. I was practicly a child, but all those pictures of models and beautiful girls in magazines made me so depressed. I just wanted to be pretty. I had some really bad girls in my class when i was younger and they often laughed at me. And I... I am very emotional and I couldn't stand it anymore. It was a huge kick to my selfconfidence. I also had some family problems at that time and I thouht I have nobody to speak with. I started to lose on my weight, counting calories, eating just "healthy" food and exercise as more as possible. My depression was enourmous, sometimes I was thinking even about suicide, I stopped hanging out with my friends, I was always nervous and I didn't want to talk with anybody. I just wanted them to leave me alone. And I wanted to eat, but I couldn't. This voice in my head... it was killing me. All my friends, my family, teachers in the school, everybody worried. I had to go around the doctors and finaly i got in the hospital. It was so terrible that I almost And first, I just cried and cried, but actually, in the hospital I could finaly eat. I was there for two months and I still didn't want to put on my weight a lot, ao after i got home, I continued to eat as before I went to hospital. And after six months I was in the hospital again. But after that I recovered my weight. I beated anorexia. Now I'm 16 and I have no longer problems with anorexia. Dear God saved me from this hell. Here is a picture then and a picture now. I just want to say... Dear girls, don't do experiments with food and practising, don't look at all those models in the magazines, don't compare them with yourselve. Just remember, xou are beutiful and special just the way you are and you don't have a single reason to change. You are God's creations and that means you are perfect. I'm sory if my English is not so fluent, I'm from Croatia. Back to top