National Eating Disorders Association

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Need Help with Communication with my Wife who has eating disorder

Some of what she says to me is very hurtful. Confusing. Frustrating. Hoping I can talk with someone on the phone to discuss what behavior is related to the ED and how to handle these situations. I am discouraged and could use some advise.


Hi Thomas, sorry to hear you

Hi Thomas, sorry to hear you are hurting, discouraged, frustrated. I am glad you reached out for help. It sounds like you care very much for your wife. Please remember she is consumed by something that she can’t control and more than likely, is feeling the same way you are. I am sure that she is not choosing to be hurtful to you. She is hurting herself and hurting people hurt people. It’s not an excuse, but I hope that may offer some perspective. Just curious - does she see a therapist? Would you consider a couples therapy session? With some guidance of a professional, you might be able to open up to her and work on better communication skills. Even seeing your own therapist may be helpful. There is no shame in asking for help. NEDA also has some valuable tools to help loved ones of those struggling. I would suggest you look into the NEDA Navigators. NEDA Navigators are volunteers who have first-hand experience with eating disorders and are well into their own, or their loved one’s recovery. Navigators are familiar with navigating the complex and overwhelming systems and emotions involved with seeking help and working towards recovery. You can visit this site for more information:
I hope this is a good starting place. My heart goes out to you!

she has seen several people

she has seen several people as have I. I have looked into the Navigators. Your information is very very helpful and comforting.
Thanks for your time and compassion

ThomasJ ,

ThomasJ ,
I am a wife currently suffering from ED and recently told my husband...............It is so hard with him now knowing......I do feel angry at times and he thinks Im mad at him when Im really just so angry with myself.... I dont know how he can help or what he should do or not do to help me.... what questions do you have? I would be glad to give you any advice I can !

Need Help with Communication

It is hard when she is not nice to me. Makes it hard to want to be around her. I am down and depressed feeling this will be how the rest of my life will be. Little Kindness and mostly anger most of the time. Not the way I want to live. Hard to take on a regular basis.


Hi ThomasJ,

I understand that it must be incredibly difficult to talk to your wife at this current state. I am so sorry that you are going through this, but we are very glad that you are willing to speak out about it. I wanted to follow-up with you and see if you had a change to get a NEDA Navigator yet. Please update us when you can!